I just read Gabrielle Union’s Wikipedia, not because I trust Wikipedia or ever have, I saw that that was finally trending a few weeks ago, because this shit is the easiest thing to edit and upload false facts to, and over the history of the site, there’s been some really funny edits over the years that proved that shit could be manipulated for evil, once the powers that be got wind of it and decided to dedicated a whole team to “edit Wikipedia to push our agenda”….because facts aren’t facts motherfuckers, they’re just concepts….

So yeah, in reading Gabrielle Union’s wiki, I learned that she thought she was ugly, had self esteem issues, thought she’d never be pretty, therefore she thought she was ugly….which is a fully bullshit story because if she really thought she was ugly, how the fuck is she trending for some “Gabrielle Union at 48 topless” storyline…she never thought she was ugly…

In other interesting news, she was raped at 19 when working at Payless and got a nice cash settlement….you know probably not enough to warrant the rape, at least not now that she gets paid, but not a bad reward for being raped…you know if you’re raped, you might as well get paid for it….it’s better than just ending up with a baby….

She’s apparently married to Dwyane Wade and together they have a baby and this is her holding her titties for the internet for empowerment or some shit…or maybe to give her rapist an updated pic of her for him to jack off….I don’t know how these things work but assume dude brags about her to all his friends whenever she pops up in the tabloids or movies…”back when I was a violent rapist, I totally got with this famous chick when she worked payless”…it’s a little darker than when you tell your friends you went to school with a famous person, or ran into one at Disneyland or the airport, but rapists probably hang with other rapists to talk their mutual interests….or so you’d think….or so you’d think…

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Posted in:Gabrielle Union