UK’s export Charli XCX who I always thought was just a bootleg performer with a dream. You know, a rich kid with parents who support her dream because they are lawyers or accountants or bankers….and used to the stuffy and shitty world of bureaucracy….excited to tell their friends how like Charli is doing in America chasing her dreams that they finance because it makes their lives more interesting…

Not that I have an issue with rich people getting ahead, I believe in equality for all, equal opportunity for all, but if your family got a generations head start and you get to benefit from it, fuck yeah…

So there’s nothing wrong with being a sponsored by your parents artist to keep their lives interesting amongst their boring friends…that’s not the issue here, the issue is that I thought that was her level of career….someone who tours malls and nightclubs that no one cares about….

As it turns out, I was wrong, she’s actually rich as shit, just bought a 30 million dollar house, probably has more hits than Rita Ora, who you’d think is richer and more important than Charli based on Rita’s incessant self promotion….but who cares about the backstory, or the rivalry I created between two UK popstars in America…which should be the name of my memoir….I am here for the front story…the TITTIES….and the good news is that both have big tits ..all those bangers and mash or some shit…I RECKON…

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Posted in:Charli XCX