Tanlines are nature’s highlighter because they highlight the good parts that you’re not allowed to see when thy are getting those tanlines…not because women are modest, I mean we live in the sluttiest times in history thanks to the internet and its normalizing of porn, making nude pics barely a thing…”IT IS NOT LIKE I AM GETTING GANGBANGED MOM AND DAD”…the thanksgiving conversation we know is being had now that the last year has turned average everyday middle of the road suburban mall shopping bitches into sex workers….because it is fun and lucrative…

The tanline, since it is 90 percent from a can, you know SPRAY TAN FROM A CAN….let’s TRADEMARK that and get into the hosing the bitches down with brown goo…to give them some semblance of healthy, outdoor, color, without having to leave their houses since they have Amazon, online shopping and delivery….ROT AWAY and forget living actual real life…YOU CAN JUST FAKE IT ALL from the comfort of hiding away like an agoraphobic freak…

So yeah, I like tanlines for what they represent, not for what they are, chemicals out of a can, because I am old school and seeing a tanline on a bitch in the summer meant you were getting somewhere good…and I’m nostalgic about that.

Posted in:Tanlines