I guess Alessandra Ambrosio, who is in her 40s, but for some reason looks hotter than she did at 25, which may not be saying much to people like me who thought she was a giant “whatever” when she was getting all that Victoria’s Secret hype, but that should be saying something to those of us who didn’t buy into all her Victoria’s Secret hype, since on a fundamental, biological level…any 25 year old is going to be hotter than their 40 year old version….and I don’t understand it…

Is it baby blood transfusions, STEM CELL TREATMENTS from Brazil, is she on HGH like a male actor in their 40s trying to keep muscle mass, is she getting face injections but subtle so she doesn’t look like a muppet…is it supplements, is it diet, exercise, hydration….or IS IT A CLONE from the same CLONE lab they pulled her out of…because I’m convinced if any brand was CLONING in the 90s and 00s it was Victoria’s Secret working on creating the MASTER woman…probably in labs in Brazil where the law were lacks….but I am not a journalist, I’m a shit poster and this is the shit…

She’s in Hawaii, living her best life of luxury, because California beach life’s not ZEN enough for the endless summer babe…and because bitches at her level are funded…rich guys love being around them thanks to their resumes and with that you get to do nice things all while hardly being impressive at all….just 20 year VS model alum is enough for these people…BRANDED by the right BRAND.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio