Candice Swanepoel may still be one of the most boring models to come out of Victoria’s Secret, but I always viewed that as her being secure in herself and just happy making those millions a year from the brand, that there was no need to go above and beyond, get involved in attention generating drama, or trying to prove herself like Eugenics Girl Heidi Klum who needs to have her hand in everything, including herself, because her vagina from all those kids and a SEAL is probably quite destroyed…but I guess we’ll never know and I guess when your dick is small enough, and it is, all vaginas seem destoyed because you don’t connect with the walls for that coveted underrated FRICTION people talk about but that WE will never know.

She’s been hot, she’s still hot, even in her 30s, without her implants, after having a kid.

It could be post production optical illusions, but I’m fine with that and you should be too. The South African Farmer’s daughter who you know has slave ownership in her family history still has those model legs and I’m into it.

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Posted in:Candice Swanepeol