I always need to be cautious while covering Caroline Vreeland’s monstrous and amazingly huge new mom tits that are bigger than your head and almost intimidating to look at, I mean, I couldn’t imagine being in the same room as these things, it’s on a circus freak show level of amazing, you know if you were the weirdo into fucking bearded ladies, or into fucking midgets, or into fucking strong men…where the freaks of the freakshow are two insanely large breasts, likely bigger than any breast you’ve ever seen.

But yeah, I need to be cautious writing about her because she lives in the same city as me, is now a Canadian through marriage, and can turn the woke liberal canadian socialist hate crime police on me for being sexist by reducing a woman to tits that are so fucking big they need their own talk show….I hear that pervert Ellen is out of work, maybe Vreeland’s tits are the answer to the compelling interviews and silly opening dance.

The point is, the fact that these tits are in the same city as me as I write this, but that I’m not perched on some telephone pole staring at them, or hiring some nerd to hack their security camera system, is really a fail on my part.

I don’t even know if I can write that, is that seen as threatening, I mean obviously I am joking, but it’s definitely something else knowing tits like this are eating poutine like a french girl because these boobs are on another level and thus should be celebrated as such….

Posted in:Caroline Vreeland