I used to say things were gayer than bicycle shorts, it was a way I’d describe things, because everyone knew how gay bicycle shorts were, except maybe those 50 year old dudes who recreationally road bike with each other after a hard day at the office where they are lawyers or doctors or other professionals who can afford 7,000 dollar road bikes for their leisurely bike short wearing rides.

Then bike shorts became a style must-have, a requirement to be considered a woman in society, a pre-requisite for any instagram feed to have at least one of, because they’re so comfy, squeezing the ass in the best way possible, to showcase a better version of their ass and I guess pussy, since the bike shorts get caught up all in there, which is to say that bike shorts are still pretty fucking gay on recreational bikers, but amazing on random middle of the road sluts trying to be fashionable, or look fit….

So Ashley Tisdale, the High School Musical girl who is trying to figure out how to slut out on Instagram to get noticed and stay relevant like her colleague Hudgens, brought a straight up bike short ass pic to her feed because she completed some LA hike at what is probably piss filled Runyon Canyon…..

Which means, she’s super into what her ass is looking like here, otherwise she’d never post it knowing it was a set up for people like me to ridicule her desperation, and attempt to THOT at 40 years old…..

I was never a fan, always thought she was ugly, but did always hype her up for the fit body, which outlasts an ugly face, especially when you take all your selfies from behind and by selfie, I mean fucks.

But now I’m thinking she let that fitness go and is left with nothing by a square mom ass, being as ROUND as it possibly can, with these optical illusion causing bike shorts…..and it is pretty tragic, despite the effort or attempt being there, it just misses the mark…..so someone needs to get this bitch a creative director to walk her through making her square ass look amazing….it’s the internet and so easy to fake it….especially with her available budgets!

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale