Picture this…..1989……Sports Illustrated Swim was celebrating their 25th anniversary….Elle Macpherson, an Australian dream was one of their new swim models….and I was a 19 or 20 year old with the Behind the scenes VHS tape that came out to support the silver covered issue…..

I jerked off the Elle Macpherson in ways that are better not described, I hate when dudes talk about jerking off, it’s fucking gay and who cares…..but from that VHS on I was committed to Elle Macpherson being what I considered to be the ONLY model of the 90s….and I held onto that VHS until it basically got blown out a decade later…..I feel like she was one of my best previous lovers, a whirlwind romance and she wasn’t even there for it. She’s just that good.

Well, I pretty much forgot that she existed, it was a long time ago an I am knee deep in more eager sluts to care about a 58 year old who I assumed would have looked like a leathery crocodile thanks to the whole being Australian thing….but I guess when you marry a billionaire or two….and you live in Miami, the whole Ozone layer thing doesn’t really destroy you like a white trash bleached blonde toothless kangaroo wrestler in the outback….

BUT TODAY…..she has gone topless for ELLE magazine (see shooot here ….and it’s amazing, as well as evidence that the small tits have staying power bro….I don’t know why we argue about these things….

As a reference point, this is Cindy Crawford, also 300 years old, also married to a billionaire, in a bikini that was posted recently, and she’s no Elle in Elle….TITS out because when you get into magazines named after you, you deliver.

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