I assume these are either screenshots or pictures from one of her latest videos, but since I don’t follow Charli XCX or give a fuck about her music, I don’t actually care what they are from.

I just know that the mall brand, club touring, been around a while but didn’t really have much impact, despite being able to afford a 30 million dollar house, making me think she probably had more impact than I thought, is here fucking a mattress in a mattress store, which is far hotter than fucking a mattress in a back alley and getting scabies, bed bugs or Monkey Pox like that poor dog who shared a bed with two MEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH MEN, leading to anal lesions, as sharing beds with MEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH MEN, would do.

The bootleg Amy Winehouse, who’s hotter than Amy Winehouse used to rock those leotards like all the other popstars, and her tits were substantial becasue the rest of her was doughy.

I guess in her rebrand, she decided to get fit, so that she could pull off the hot popstar she wanted to be proper, so she’s looking better than ever, as deals with the devil tend to do for people.

Ultimately, I don’t care about her backstory, her demonic inclinations, or her new found success, I’m just glad to see her fucking mattresses in mattress stores, it’s so much higher end and more classy than the soiled mattresses I’ve sniffed.

Posted in:Charli XCX