Tanlines are a fetish in this era of people not going outside in the sun because they have been told it kills, or because they are jacked up on SSRIs and will burn up, or they are too depressed to leave the house, or because they are just addicted to the screen, looking in the mirror, and getting as pasty and zombie-like as possible.

Not that true narcissist sluts would ever let themselves get nerdy fat dude level of pasty, they’ve got creams, lotions and potions for that…jack up those hormones, kick em in the cunt.

But yeah, it’s impossible to tell a real tanline from a tanline filter or a tanline spray tan that strippers used to get, so we’ll just take the tanline and pretend it’s from the sun, before they become leathery like an Australian 25 year old thanks the hole in the Ozone layer and all those other REAL GLOBAL WARMING scare tactics, since global warming isn’t real….

So yeah, since everything is fucking fake, we can pretend or imagine these are from the sun, charging like tanning your asshole, vitamin D inducing cuz we need vitamin D, I mean, you all pretend you’re getting laid when you fuck your luncheon meats in a ziploc bag, you can assume the highlighting of the good spots is actually highlighting the good spots, fake or not, still hot.

Posted in:Tanlines