Rita Ora is your Albanian Princess who managed to survive the Albanian Genocide of 1999 because she had already been human trafficked out of KOSOVO to the UK where they pretended she was the grand daughter of some important figure, so they could train her in an underground bunker to be a top level performer, as they do….

They must be so upset with the results of said training, because they got her to that record deal with one of their Homies, only for her to be ousted and forced to fend for herself in the scary world of a pre-instagram time, luckily, she managed to have enough hype from having that record deal, but luckily, instagram did happen and she was able to do that whole “Influencer Thing” while figuring out how to become an a-list popstar, it’s been 10 years, she’s not quite there yet, but thanks to influencers being the only thing people care about, she’s one of the more famous people in the world, all without many hits, or tours, because why bother when you get paid with less effort in a lazy generation of money comes way too fuck easy, just not to me…

Anyway, I can’t confirm that any of what I have written is truth, if it was it would be highly classified information, if I did know that kind of thing, we could assume the vehicle I was driving in would get blown up and made to look like a car accident, so I just make fun of conspiracies here, if they come true, so be it, if not, they are good comedic entertainment, right new FBI agent friend of Facebook, thanks for the add, making me feel so validated.

I can confirm that she has big tits, is in bikini, possibly newly married to that Tatiki guy, possibly knocked up, you couldn’t rally tell at this stage in the game with her already very fertile and engorged tits..and that’s really all we actually care about. Right.

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