It’s cold as shit here, but French Canadian strippers have always found a way to have some of the trashiest tans from the tanning beds or now the tanning sprays to really make you feel like you’re at a 3 star resort in Cuba where you get herpes on your face from the hot tub and not from the hookers you’ve rented for the month long adventure that is only costing you about 750 dollars including airfare and food because you don’t fear disgusting hotels, because you live in filth and it doesn’t come with a beach.

These are not French Canadian strippers, but clearly they know that some of us like the tanlines, so they’re bringing them for us to pretend that it’s not cold as shit here, and if that isn’t important work, I don’t know what is….but regardless of whether that is important work, I still don’t know what important work is, because when it comes down to it, all work seems pretty fucking useless, but tanlines highlight the good parts, which seems pretty fucking useful.

Posted in:Tanlines