I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2023

18

Jul

Jordana Brewster Promotes Potential DNA Damaging Product of the Day

Jordana Brewster, the Panamanian celebrity thanks to her dad being a finance guy with enough smarts to say:

“fuck paying taxes, I’m moving to Panama, where I will get all the rich people I know to pay ME instead of taxes, in order to set them up with a TAX shelter so that I can finance my daughter in LA to get her famous, which I will use as a marketing hook to secure more money from more people who are excited by the idea of working with the girl from Fast and the Furious’ dad”…

So yeah, she’s old as shit, but still producing bikini pics cuz she feels fit, like a lot of the rich moms you see get out of their range rovers in clothing more skimpy than their teen daughters who you know are ruined by the internet because you saw them humping the air while filming a tiktok video in the grocery store, their mother holding the camera….

But yeah, she’s old, she does not-age-appropriate content with her bikinis, but the brands coming in and paying her are SO age appropriate, you know Lysol Laundry Sanitizer for your fucking face makes you scared of living cucks…..BUT IT IS GOING TO BE COVID SEASON SOON, I NEED TO DISINFECT MY CLOTHES LIKE MY HANDS WITH CANCER CAUSING CHEMICALS, you Lysol Wipe PUSSIES…it’s like TELL ME YOU ARE OLD AS SHIT WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU ARE OLD AS SHIT…..”I know, I’ll pose next to a giant laundry sanitizer”….fucking jokers…..

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Posted in:Jordana Brewster

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