I think Chelsea Handler is trying to shake her dried up uterus out of her, you know like dog with a rotted out tooth, just trying to gnaw the motherfucker out of his goddamn mouth because it’s causing pain, infection and his natural instinct is to remove it, or like a prostitute who just got a few condoms lost inside her, only realizing it months later when trying to track down the rancid smell, just jumping up and down in some kind of spastic panic hoping they fall out of her….

Only instead of condoms, it’s a uterus which probably served the same purpose as a condom all those years of her climbing the ranks of comedy legend status…meaning Chelsea’s barren spinster womb is basically a female condom she was born with and it’s starting to stink..

Point of the story, the shameless funny girl is half naked and disgustingly old.

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Posted in:Chelsea Handler