About 20 years ago, I made a bet with a friend that in my lifetime I’d fuck Christina Aguilera, assuming that she was a one hit wonder who would be turning tricks after running out of money, or someone in an institution after being mentally beat up and traumatized in being a starlet at a young age…..I am no longer friends with that person, but I figure I’ll keep the bet going because there is a chance this will all still collapse for her and my bullshit plans will come to fruition…I’m not saying it’ll be a good time, or her at her prime, that’s long gone, it’s just to say it could happen….and it might…

About 15 years ago Christina Aguilera got fat, looked disgusting, basically a bloated monster version of herself….which was the last I saw of her because I hate fat chicks…but if I had to fuck one to win a bet I would….

And now, after all those years of obesity, she’s clearly got on the Diabetes weightloss drugs, or used some of her money for a chef and trainer, because bitch is looking like the big titty pin-up midget she clearly is trying to be….sure it’s a far cry from the tiny thing getting DIRRRTY, but the fake tits are still there, the ass has grown into it, and her big old mom gut is gone…like she’s met with a GENIE IN A BOTTLE who let her hit that time machine wish….cuz she rubbed it the right way…or maybe she just made a deal with the devil, the satanic symbolism on her dress would make me think that’s the more likely hustle..

She’s doing better than our girl DEAD BRITNEY

Posted in:Christina Aguilera