I like to believe in elaborate conspiracy theories, mainly because they all seem to end up coming true.

One of my favorite conspiracies is that Britney Spears is dead, or locked in her basement, or institutionalized and the Britney Spears that we deal with is a body double, an actress, or even just an AI clone, because they do have the technology to troll us and to keep a motherfucker alive on the internet forever.

They can AI her voice and make music…this is a billion dollar performer, like Taylor Swift, but more interesting, they have a budget for that shit.

Instead, she looks like her contentis shot on VHS in the late 90s without white balance, all fucking basement dwelling and SNUFF FILM-ESQUE…

I don’t think the Britney isn’t Britney conspiracy is really all that much of a conspiracy, her legless dad’s company released her book, her Elton John hit song was never promoted by her, she’s never seen in the paparazzi yet she’s free…

In fact, K-Fed and his sons living in Hawaii are seen by the paparazzi more than Britney, the 17 year old’s got a big titty bikini clad girlfriend in his recent paparazzi pics, because his mom was Britney Spears, an icon….

So anyway, she posted this video of her that read:

Same baby blue dress I wore in Mexico March 31 of this year !!! I decided to bring it back because it was my favorite !!! I wore it before I got on my plane to Vegas two nights ago !!! But it’s not in my suitcase anymore nor is my new black jacket I bought last night !!! Don’t you hate it when your favorite belongings go missing and people’s response is “you got robbed” with a big smile on their face !!! That’s not very nice !!!

Ok, so crazy medicated Britney knows the date she wore this dress is Mexico….OF THIS YEAR…so maybe it was a dress she wore in the 2010s, so they aren’t technically lying with their caption. The shit goes onto weirder shit about going to Vegas and losing her dress like she’s speaking in code, but I’ll assume she’s not the one writing the captions….where are the pics from Vegas?

Here’s the iconic popstar, gut out in a tight dress being weird.

Posted in:Britney Spears