Kate Beckinsale won’t die. She’s old as shit but she’s not rotting at the appropriate speed. It’s safe to assume that she is infact a vampire, maybe not a traditional one, just one who makes kale smoothies with dead babies she buys off her Mexican gardners.

This is strategic hydration, diet, exercise, botox, I don’t know what the fuck is responsible for an old lady to still be hot, but the old lady still be hot.

In this series of photos she is tonguing a man in an Eamonn Holmes mask, I only know that because she tagged Eamonn Holmes, who is an Irish journalist, host of a morning how, presenter, whatever…that may have been fucked by Beckinsale at some point in his life, or who is just a punchline to a very weird joke if you’re not British…

The point of the post is her tongue, set up for you to imagine it in your asshole, which is what the young people Kate Beckinsale dates are into, so you know she does it to compensate for the decomposing smell she’s got.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale