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2024

26

Jan

Órla Baxendale Dead Dancer of the Day

Órla Baxendale is not only a ginger, which to some is a fate worse than death despite their super ginger strength from generations of trying to kill off the gene, as long as they aren’t put out in the sun, where their fluorescent pubic hair doesn’t stand a chance from being burnt to a fucking crisp…

She’s also allergic to peanuts…and she ate some cookies in NYC where she works as a professional dancer, but not the stripper kind, or the good kind, but rather the annoying and cheesy kind…and now she’s dead.

A death never stopped us from sexualizing a motherfucker, if anything the collective sadness of their family and friends makes the whole experience more exhilerating….so get it while she’s still warm, otherwise it’s just weird….freaks…

If you’re deathly allergic to peanuts due to weak genes, maybe avoid the cookies or things that could have peanuts in them…

Basically, the products from the store weren’t labelled that there were peanuts in them, but the manufacture had told the store that sold them that there were peanuts in them as of July, so. someone’s going to get in trouble for killing a dancer….and someone’s going to get paid very well, just not the dead dancer…since she’s dead….but it may be a small price to pay for her kin to be set for life….ya know, she’s dead anyway might as well make the most of it.

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

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