Old lady Sofia Vergara with the big scary eyebrows and the plastic face was at some event the other night and she brought out her old lady tits, that were once younger lady tits, which allowed her to buy her way out of Colombia, possibly as a drug mule, but probably as a rich kid whose family owned a coffee plantation or some other generational wealth that would finance her trip to Miami, work visas, and life while living as a single mother working as some obscure host….before meeting the right network of people in Miami, impressed by her tits that they sent her to Hollywood.

I am convinced that her accent is fake as fuck, that it’s all part of her bullshit origin story and she just keeps playing it up like a novelty act. I’ve met Spanish speakers who LIVE in Spanish speaking countries that speak better English than someone who claims to have been in the USA for 30 fucking years stealing the jobs of locals.

So either she’s lazy, retarded, or bullshit…and who cares when she’s got the geriatric tits out….because even old lady tits are distracting.

She’s with that same Karol G bitch I thought was Kesha in the KATY PERRY post of 3-4 minutes ago…

Posted in:Sofia Vergara