I have a theory that Sofia Vergara is a Colombian drug lord that was brought to America as some sort of Drug Mule because the Hollywood machine love cocaine…but that may be giving her too much credit.

You know, giving her some sort of purpose outside of being a set of fat tits that wanted to live the American dream so she flew in and never left, only to figure out the documentation when she was established and had enough rich dudes to foot the bill for her…

Then again, hot chicks actually have the easiest time getting US Work Visas and don’t even need to climb walls, cross rivers, float in on rafts or any of that human trafficking shit….they just need a pervert model agency to say they are actual important tits and they get to stay for 5 years.

Clearly, immigration understood that importing hot titty model pussy into the country was good from a genetic level of eugenics..

Anyway, the super famous and super old tits are in Italy, since she’s rich and famous thanks to her aggressive Spanish accent when she speaks…

They even posed with dying and paliative Kate Beckinsale who is doing her Queen Latifah inspired “you’re gonna die, so get in all the fun you can” tour…

And Vergara’s one tit seems to be far heavier than Beckinsale’s entire body….hot for those into both tits and emaciated dying women….ALL in the same frame.

CHECK OUT THEM TITS IN ITALY….

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I always liked to imagine that Sofia Vergara made it into America as a drug mule, using her tits and asshole to transport the goods to rich Hollywood types who thanked her when she had enough dirt on them by giving her a career….

Since she was from Colombia and that is something that a racist would assume the people from Colombia in America are in America doing….cocaine and I guess coffee…which as it turns out, the now established Sofia Vergara is doing because she’s launching or has coffee brand…

At least that’s what I assume with her throwback post of a simpler time, where she’s naked in coffee beans, which she’s using to hype up her coffee business, knowing that instagram coffee brands get fucking paid because people love coffee…

She also kissed Heidi Klum’s shoulder, not sure if she got AIDs from it, but that’d be a racist thing to assume all because Heidi was involved with SEAL….he is not necessarily the AIDS kind of African people.

She also had her tits out, and when it comes to Vergara…it’s pretty much all about her tits, and her over the top exagerated accent….that she can’t act her way out of because she’s obviously putting it on to maintain that fetish.

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I think Sofia Vergara, who must be in her mid to late 50s at this point in time, should start producing her selfies with her tits out rather than her tits covered, because the tits still have some life to them and keeping them entrapped is wrong.

When her tits aren’t fully out, all I’m seeing is her old lady neck, one of the body parts hard to game from the aging process, while if there was an exposed tit, I wouldn’t even see neck….

Sure, she doesn’t need the money or attention, but when she’s taking selfies, obviously she wants it…so DO better Sofia…her American dream coming true has made her soft.

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Sofia Vergara is in the St Patrick’s state of mind as she’s rockin’ her green bathing suit….with her big old lady mom tits all squeezed out of the bathing suit to make them look like they have better elasticity than the average old lady big tits because she’s high class, rich and famous…don’t you know.

The fake accent, or at least the played up accent Vergara is a celebrated set of 50 year old tits, so celebrated her ex is still playing with their fetuses at the fertility clinic that she wants destroyed….pussy that good you block the destruction of the FETUS so that YOU can breed her….is wearing an age-appropriate suit, which I respect and find decent of her, because too many old ladies, even the fat, sloppy apron belly rockin’ ones take WAY too much liberity in their swimsuit choices thanks to social media making everyone an exhibitionist asshole….who shows their asshole any chance they get.

Unfortunately, Vergara is not showing her asshole….because I’d like to see how brown or bleached it is and whether it’s had a moderate amount of anal sex, or a lot of anal sex, seeing as she’s a catholic….or just a digestive issue causing anal fistulas…you know…because I’m interested.

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Old lady Sofia Vergara with the big scary eyebrows and the plastic face was at some event the other night and she brought out her old lady tits, that were once younger lady tits, which allowed her to buy her way out of Colombia, possibly as a drug mule, but probably as a rich kid whose family owned a coffee plantation or some other generational wealth that would finance her trip to Miami, work visas, and life while living as a single mother working as some obscure host….before meeting the right network of people in Miami, impressed by her tits that they sent her to Hollywood.

I am convinced that her accent is fake as fuck, that it’s all part of her bullshit origin story and she just keeps playing it up like a novelty act. I’ve met Spanish speakers who LIVE in Spanish speaking countries that speak better English than someone who claims to have been in the USA for 30 fucking years stealing the jobs of locals.

So either she’s lazy, retarded, or bullshit…and who cares when she’s got the geriatric tits out….because even old lady tits are distracting.

She’s with that same Karol G bitch I thought was Kesha in the KATY PERRY post of 3-4 minutes ago…

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Big titty old granny Sofia Vergara, who I think is in her late 60s, is out in some seductive outfit with those big tits, only it’s all an illusion…

An illusion because old ladies can’t be hot, even when they try really hard, but also an illusion because the lacy outfit looks like it’s sheer but it’s not…

This is tits no nipples like a cancer survivor…and no one likes cancer….

If she did have cancer, she’d be in good hands because her new boyfriend is some rich as shit surgeon….named Justin Saliman….

After googling him, it turns out he’s a knee surgeon who has invented ways to preserve knees, and there’s only one reason the surgeon and Vergara know each other and that’s because she’s blown out her knees and not from running marathons…if you know what I mean…if anything from running trains using that throat game….you gotta climb the celebrity ranks when you’re an illegal from Colombia some how..

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Sofia Vergara is on tour for some show or movie about Griselda, the Colombian Cartel leader that I am sure was really hard to cast for because Sofia Vergara is the Colombian big tit celebrity who has sucked ALL the dicks of Hollywood, or at least that Joe guy who she married dick, which is probably enough considering she had a stint on a hit sitcom….

The TV host and sometimes actress who can’t for the life of her figure out how to speak english, unless the fake Spanish accent is her acting and she’s actually not even from South America….scheming….with those big tits…big tits scheming…

She was on a private jet cudding with a man, showing off to the world that she is a big deal who flies private and that her CARBON footprint doesn’t matter because she’s rich….

She also had her tits and now thanks to face injection clown face out for the promo tour and the whole thing was just SO much fun…because of her tits…

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Here’s Sofia Vergara seducing you with her pictures like she’s not in her mid-50s…

I don’t find Sofia Vergara all that exciting. I didn’t find her all that exciting when she was a low level titty model living in Miami figuring things out before landing her hit show in her late 30s, allowing her big Colombian titties to get the praise they deserved, all while playing up her accent harder than the dicks who helped her get where she got, if anything that accent she plays up is one of the most offensive things about her. I know Colombian people, who still live in Colombia and they speak english with a less aggressive accent and this bitch has been in America for 30 fucking years….it’s FAKE, but what do you expect, she’s an actor and everything about actors is fake, except maybe Sofia Vergara’s tits, those could be real since they’re the reason she’s able to be an actor that is fake…

In the last 24 hours she’s posted her tits in various poses on her social media, it’s not that exciting, but I’m posting it anyway.

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I don’t really encourage looking up a 50 year old lady’s skirt, unless there’s really nothing else going on, or she’s just a slutty 50 year old who is making a spectacle of herself and it’d be rude to not stare, because she’ll start to realize that she’s lost her edge, lost her hotness and lost her appeal and without that purpose or meaning in her life, she’d likely kill herself…

You see, not looking at a whore or commenting “BOBS AND VAGIN” on a whore’s instagram is the equivalent of fat shaming a fat kid or releasing nudes of some young girls who ends up killing herself….it’s CYBER BULLYING and we can’t have that.

Now Sofia Vergara, the COLOMBIAN who snuck to Miami on a COCAINE shipment, at least that’s what I assume her origin story is. I mean, she’d have to be a cocaine mule to the rich and famous in order to get those tits eventually on TV…leverage….even the tits themselves could have very likely been the vessel for the smuggling, you know fuck silicone, these tits are COLOMBIAN GOLD..

She’s got a skirt on, you can’t look up it, no matter how many angles you position your screen….and that’s too bad…

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