The most exciting story around Salma Hayek is that she was bought by her husband who was a bratty rich kid and the son of a billionaire, who decided he wanted to tits that at the time were being celebrated across the globe, because those tits were A-List celebrity tits, so he had his team figure it all out and make it fucking happen….because money talks or some shit…

The other exciting story around Salma Hayek is that she’s actually not very beautiful at all, she’s got a strong jaw and is what you could call bulldog faced, but for whatever reason the world embraced her as being a babe because the industry wanted to turn you all into fags or some shit…

Sure, she’s got big tits that are officially big ol’ titties since she’s pushing 60 years old and for a 60 year old she’s fine….but in her prime, we were fucking duped bro….the MATRIX had it’s grip on our dicks and it worked out nicely for this one….cuz she really isn’t as great as she was marketed to be…

Maybe I just think all actors are ugly because their jobs embarrass me, while celebrating people for playing weird make-belief outside of a brothel where you’re role playing with some hooker, is just retarded…since we’re all grown ups here…and role play only makes sense when it makes you cum…

That’s all I have to say about that!

Posted in:Salma Hayek