The funny thing about Jessica Simpson’s weight gain is that shit happened overnight, I mean sure we all saw her struggle with it her entire career, with titties like that, it was just a matter of time before the rest of her followed, but she went from tight to sloppy over the fucking holidays or some shit and that’s some serious binge eating. Sure it’s probably gotta do with her getting older and her metabolism getting slower and maybe with realizing that the Country world is more accepting of you when you look like farm animals or Winonna Judd, but I think it has to do with emotional eating that stems from feeling inadequate, but that’s just because that’s how I like all my girls.

I don’t know why anyone gives a fuck about whether she’s fat or not, or why she’s trying to dress like a fat chick trying to hide the fat chick in her by using fashionable tricks, to make her look skinny, something that always makes me laugh when my wife tries to pull it off, like when she comes to me and says “does this vertical stripped black shirt make me look thin” and I have to tell her than no optical illusion, drug, would make her look skinny, not even fucking blindness would make her look skinny, because his heightened sense of sound would force him to listen to both you choking on your fucking chin, but more importantly getting fatter by the fucking minute.

Here are her concert pics.

Posted in:Concert|Jessica Simpson|Pictures