You don’t know awkward like surfing the net for Kayden Kross porn because I love her and coming across a live broadcast from May where her and her stunt cock are talking about me.

I have no memory of ever asking her to ask me to marry her, considering I am married, but I guess that could be something I would do, even though I’d rather just take her out to dinner and a movie and treat her like the lady I know she is behind that whole pornstar front.

So even though her marriage proposal wasn’t sincere, it’s nice to know she likes me for being an asshole because I like her for having an asshole or at least a vagina she treats like an asshole by lettin’ all kinds shit get caught up in it, even though it’s a premium luxurious delicacy that should only be savored by me. Even though the most Luxurious thing I’ve ever had was jar of brand name mustard.

Either way, I love Kayden and you should too.

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