The only thing good about seeing Lily Allen topless in a magazine is the hope that an actual hot girl who I actually want to see topless will eventually show off her tits in the magazine. The other good thing about it is that it is a reminder to all the companies who call me a porn site and refuse to give me money, depriving me of the life of luxury I feel I deserve from all the hard work I’ve put into the site by sleeping in pretty much everyday the last 5 years, that tits aren’t fuckin’ pornographic, they are just hot, except in Lily Allen’s case, where they are just some kind of cruel joke, like when this homeless dude shoved his dick down my throat one night when I passed out drunk, only without the taste I couldn’t get rid of for a week, since I’m pretty good at forgetting horrible things, and really how bad could this really be, I mean it’s a picture of fucking tits, shitty or not, they are still tits. Right?

Posted in:GQ|Lily Allen