Milla Jovovich lives. I stopped paying attention to her 15 years ago when I found out she was actually raised in America. It took a lot of her ethnic appeal, you know mail order bride born during the cold war, escaped via modeling, or by climbing the Siberian mountains..that she almost died doing….before landing a movie role in the Fifth Element….a movie that people still dress up as for Halloween…

My memory of Fifth Element is getting a fucking handjob in a drive in theatre by some fat chick – thinking – why couldn’t I be getting a hand job by that orange haired goddess…only to imagine orange hair on this pig giving me the handjob – giving me a visual of a terrifying Ronald McDonald’s if he actually ate McDonalds vibe – before clowns were terrorizing people in the USA….they were terrorizing me…

I still came on her and ended up marrying her…so in ways the Fifth Element and Milla Jovovich ruined my fucking life…and I guess ruined hers by having a bunch of kids…but here she is now..VOGUE UKRAINE…making moves like old times…

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