I love Charlize Theron. Even when she plays white trash serial killer I can still get off to her, not that I’ve got off to anyone in the last few years, but the memories are pretty fucking fond. If I knew fucking my wife at her fattest would have given me post traumatic stress making me unable to fuck anymore, I probably would have played things out a little differently, but the good news is that this new found pent up sexual energy has made me one of the biggest perverts on the internet, the kind of guy who can look at pictures of a hot South African slut who’s probably pushing 40 posing on a red carpet and visualize a bitch on her bed masturbating thanks to her facial expressions, and that’s some serious fucking issues, probably comparable to some of you virgins who think you are dating celebrities cuz you found a picture of them winking at the camera and you’re desperation makes you delusional and think she’s winking at you….

I guess all this is to say, we’re all in the same boat and that boat is not anywhere near the pussy we’d like to Dora the Explorer.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Sex Faces