So everyone rags on Britney for being crazy, when reality is that all girls are fucking crazy except when they are young and not trying to be like Britney, but that’s just because the crazy hasn’t matured and blossomed into a nice crazy flower. I was out last night and this hot bar tender asks me if I am in a band, because I guess dudes in bands look like middle-aged homeless dudes who smell like shit, so being smart, I said yes, because had I told her I write a useless fuckin’ website no one reads, my chances of finger-banging her while doing shots would have been a lot less.

Either way, she buys me shots, I tell her I want to marry her, she tells me she has a boyfriend, you know how it goes. I end up barely making out with her, more like accidentally grabbing her and shovin’ my tongue down her throat, and she was having it, until she remembered she had a boyfriend, turned on me, bitched me out and get me banned from the bar.

What I am getting at is that a little Britney upskirt action isn’t a sign of her being an unfit mother or insane, it’s a sign of her being a fucking chick and if we were to put every girl under a fucking microscope like we do with her, you’d all probably be suckin’ dick and taking it up the ass within a week, not that you aren’t already doing that, but you don’t want us knowing, because you and your buddy were drunk and horny and heading home alone with boners and figured that since you have a hole and he’s got a hole, why the fuck were you wasting your time getting rejected by chicks. It only makes sense…right? Fag.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted|Upskirt|Vagina