Lindsay Lohan used to be the most random friend I ever had…she’d text me everyday and every night for over 6 months, until one day we finally met, she did some crackhead shit, and more importantly, I didn’t try to play with her amazing tits, and I never heard from her again, but more importantly, I never forgave myself for not playing with her amazing tits…and like you, I’m forced to stare at them on instagram pics she posted, rather than hate them as I tend to the herpes I caught from her, that seemed like a good idea at the time, because it was fucking Lohan at her prime, before fully falling off, a girl you’d all want to get herpes from, until she’s long out of the picture, but the herpes aren’t..them shits for life…yo…

So whenever I see her, I remember what was, appreciate what is, but cry on the inside, for never having touched such luxurious and amazing breasts…it’s not the first time I’ve failed as a man, but it’s up there as the worst time I’ve failed as a man….

I am still a Lohan Fan….and I am waiting for her to win that Oscar…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan