Halloween is coming and that means that so are the everyday girls who feel it’s time to show off their wild side that they really want to show off on the daily basis, but have been raised to think it is inappropriate, except on Halloween, because you’re just dressing up and not actually showing a secret slut side of you. It is like a day pass into whoredom, and that means a lot of the girls you’ve seen walking around in sweat pants, or sweaters, or jeans, who look really fucking boring and prude, will be out getting drunk in lingerie or slutty costumes and that’s what makes shit the hottest night of the year.

And you know, when a girl gets out there dressed all slutty, she usually ends up getting all turned on and that means with a little booze, she will put out because of all the sexual attention she’s been getting all night that she’s not used to, making Halloween a night you may actually get laid, and if you can’t or haven’t got laid on Halloweens of yesteryear, then you’ll probably appreciate Olivia Munn in Complex trying on a couple of costumes, because it’s safe to say, you’ll be at home that night watching G4TV and she’ll be your date, after giving out candy to the neighborhood kids because your mom’s more fun than you and out at a work party and you had little else to do, and if you’re lucky, Munn will be wearing one of these costumes or something a little more slutty, so that you don’t fully miss out on life, like you have been the last 20 years and that way you can at least jerk off to someone in costume, since you’re not out jerking off on someone in costume and from my study, it’s less creepy than jerking off to the Charlie Brown Halloween special.

The truth is that I have never dressed up in the past, because I always found it tedious and lame, but the last 2 years I noticed that guys who dress up get a lot more attention from girls, because girls love dressing up and love talking to guys who dress up and it’s pretty much the easiest coversation starter, and unfortunately for us, conversation is the first step to fingerbanging a girl on the dancefloor, unless of course the girl is passed out drunk in her lingerie costume on the couch at whatever party you’re at, being as quiet as possible is probably your best bet. I’m just lookin’ out for you. Oh, and the costume of the year if you want pussy is to dress like Sam Ronson….

Posted in:Halloween|Olivia Munn|Slut