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Archive for the Penelope Cruz Category

2020

01

Oct

Penelope Cruz Glitter Cameltoe of the Day

I don’t know what this 80s Glam Penelope Cruz image is from or what it is about, but I did do a google search and she’s filming a Spanish movie with Antonio Banderas about “A wealthy businessman hires a famous filmmaker to help make a smash hit film.”

I assume that’s the elevator pitch that if you tried to sell you’d get no where, I mean I’ve pitched movies that were more developed than that that were ignored…

But when you say “so I have Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas attached to this idea, it’s a real good idea, maybe even the best deal, think of it…it’s about….wait for it…A movie about making a movie”….to which the financier said “So Penelope Cruz and Banderas are in? Where’s my check book”…because with celebrity power, you can say it’s a movie about a girl eating potato salad for 90 minutes and someoen will pay for it to get done….that is the point of celebrity, doesn’t need to be good, but it will still be watched.

Anyway, this outfit is great, even if Penelope Cruz is looking her age…that’s actually a good thing in this era of everyone plastic.

Plus she has forever been hot to me, even with her big nose or the fact that she’s given hope or confidence to other big nosed women, in a nose empowering, don’t nose shame movement before the whole social media activism made every ailment a place of empowerment…like last week, I saw a girl who was saying she was alway insecure about her neck…so crazy…but yeah, I’ve met girls with some big fucking noses who walked around proud about the big nose because Penelope Cruz kept her big nose and she’s Penelope Cruz…to which I would say “Penelope Cruz could have no nose and a 12 inch dick and still be Penelope Cruz, you’re just an ugly bitch with a big nose”….

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Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2019

08

Jan

Penelope Cruz Still Hot of the Day

Penelope Cruz Hot for Marie Claire

Penelope Cruz has some see through pants on….it’s like a tribute to the early days in Spain when she just started out and not wearing pants was a great mechanism to get hired. It was Europe and the early 90s….being pantsless is a cultural thing and part of the reason I used to rent foreign films to jerk off to back when my video store wouldn’t rent me porn anymore cuz I’d never bring it back….so I’d go the high brow, bush filled, summer on the Mediterranean….topless as fuck….

Penelope Cruz and her nose never really excited me, but I did once bang a girl who used to say she looked like Penelope Cruz because she had a big nose and I’d always get a kick out that…you know whilst fucking I’d tell her to speak to me in Spanish…I’d pander to her fucking delusions and try to make her think I was only into her because she looked like Penelope Cruz for my Penelope Cruz fetish…despite her being 300 pounds…see I’m not all bad…I am supportive to those who help me reach orgasm with their genitals…

I don’t know what this shoot is for…but it happened.


Penelope Cruz Hot for Marie Claire

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|SFW

2017

16

Oct

Penelope Cruz in Esquire of the Day

Penelope Cruz in Esquire

Penelope Cruz brought out her old lady tits in an Esquire shoot, because she’s all Hollywood….and luckily the world likes tits…I mean just look at these tits, they were Spanish tits, small town Euro tits…that became Oscar winning tits, and without the tits…she’d be a zero with a big nose…that wasn’t deemed worthy of an acting career.so thank the tits…celebrate the tits…but we can collectively say she should do it in a more Euro way and let me see the damn tits..it’s the modern day bikini top…but I guess like her traditional town, she’s old school…or maybe just old…which I can relate to….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|SFW

2014

13

Oct

Penelope Cruz Hot as Fuck for Esquire of the Day

Spanish Penelope Cruz is Academy Award winning celebrity mom – who I never really found hot but who was marketed to be hot – that all the girls with big noses out there appreciate because she gives them all hope…that they can get through life without getting a nose job…

A hero to…big noses – but I’m too busy looking at her tits….who knows when this was shot – I just know it’s good….I am drunk on Turkey..my diabetes is confusing me…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2014

01

Aug

Penelope Cruz for Agent Provocateur Desert Dance of the Day

Penelope Cruz is a typical actress, who has been on enough sets to feel like she has what it takes to direct a movie, or a commercial, because clearly, it’s not that hard to direct a movie, or a commercial….if you have a camera guy and editor…and a brand willing to pay for it because they know if they allow you to edit it…you’ll participate..for your portfolio, to give you some more value and substance to your vapid acting career, even if you’re a fucking Oscar winner…or especially if you are an Oscar winner, because you know first hand that it’s a pile of bullshit…from masturbatory and commercialized industry all about making money…

What isn’t a pile of bullshit is that girls in lingerie in the desert are hot. Good job Penelope…that nose sniffed out a good path for you…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2014

10

Jul

Penelope Cruz Pregnant Bikini on the Beach of the Day

Penelope Cruz is pregnant, and despite popular belief, or general decency, she decided to get into a bikini, and either she’s a tiny woman, or her baby is fucking massive, because whatever is going on here…that baby bump is more of having a litter bump…and I guess based her face, maybe it’s just the fetus’ nose pushing her belly out like that..

All this to say, I don’t find Penelope Cruz hot. I don’t think girls with big noses should keep said big noses, I’ve been with a Penelope Cruz looking girl, who thought it was okay to life life like that because Penelope Cruz did it, despite Penelope Cruz being the only one capable of pulling it off in the history of big noses…

I don’t mind staring at her hard nipples in a sheer top though, but that’s only because I’m a man and we like that shit…


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Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2014

03

Jul

Penelope Cruz Nipples in a Bathing Suit of the Day

Penelope Cruz is a mom of 1 or 2 kids but more importantly, she has nipples when she’s wet in a bathing suit…something so much more appealing if these weren’t pictures of Penelope CRUZ in a bathing suit on the beach…but rather a girl giving me a blow job…

Speaking of girl giving me Blowjobs, there was a minute where I was fucking this skinny bitch who thought Penelope Cruz was her celebrity look-a-like, because she had a huge fucking nose and so does Penelope Cruz…

So if anything, this bitch encourages girls with shitty noses to not get plastic surgery, which can’t be a good thing, at least not in this superficial world we live in…it’s like just because Penelope Cruz made a career off her flaws, she’s even an Oscar winner, doesn’t mean you should, you elephant-faced, bird looking motherfucker, who we can use as a sailboat in the event the world finally floods and kills us all of, as we hope it does…

Either way, here’s bitch having a better life than you, when you’re all low class, poor and pathetic…like me…it’s not a good look for anyone, but if we cared about that…we would be poor and pathetic in the first place…

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Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2013

13

Sep

Penelope Cruz Bikinis of the Day

I don’t know if Penelope Cruz is pregnant, recently pregnant, or just into eating baked goods, but I do know she’s in a bikini on vacation, from what I assume is a hugely stressful life that includes but is not limited to sitting on top of a pile of money and getting tons of free things from companies hoping you wear or endorse the shit…and I figure any excuse to kick back and get into a bikini…even if you’re not quite bikini ready..works for me…because any bitch in a bikini, fat or not, is worth looking at, even if it is for comedic reasons.

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Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2013

24

Apr

Penelope Cruz Topless in Her New Movie of the Day

Penelope Cruz and her nose are in a movie called Twice Born, that I guess they are leaking the topeless scene pics from, in order to remind you to go see this movie, because clearly it has a compelling story line, with a Oscar winning cast, that you won’t actually bother seeing, because you’ve seen all that matters….Penelope Cruz’s tits. Not that Penelope Cruz has ever been all that hot, with her nose and all, especially not now that she’s either pregnant or already dropped a kid, but movie titties are movie titties and I am compelled to post them, like I HAVE DONE BEFORE because she’s all european and an Oscar winner who takes acting so seriously that she takes her clothes off…good girl….

I was once compelled to fuck this bitch with a massive nose who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because she had a tan, I figure if I can’t get the real thing, I might as well fuck girls who think they look like stars, even when they don’t, because it’s as close as I’ll ever get….not that I’m into this shit, but you get what I’m saying, at least I hope you do, because I sure as hell don’t.

Posted in:NSFW|Penelope Cruz

2013

15

Mar

Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should….

Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around….

Here’s the video:


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Posted in:Penelope Cruz