I was just in a coffee shop getting a coffee because I am lazy and sitting behind a table was a girl with a low cut shirt and amazing fucking posture. Her tits were just poppin out perfectly because her shoulders were pushed back so hard it was unnatural and reminded me of a teenage girl trying to pretend she actually has tits by stickin’ out her chest like a chicken about to lay an egg or some shit. The truth is it was impressive to me because I live with a dumpy sack of shit of a wife who can’t sit up straight no matter how hard she tries because she doesn’t have the strength to hold herself up and push her shoulders back, but in her defense either does any living man because she’s just that sloppy, but it’s still really unattractive and lazy lookin.

So I decide to tell this girl how impressed I am that her back is straighter than Justin Timberlake pretends he is and I say something along the lines that it looks like she’s got a steel fucking rod for a back and that is some serious talent and go on with my coffee drinking at the table facing her. About 5 minutes later, she packs up her back and rolls the fuck away in a wheel chair that I didn’t know she was in and I felt like a bit of a fuckin’ asshole because she probably did have a steel rod in her back from some injury that left her paralyzed from the waist down and despite not being able to jog, feel sex or walk up a flight of stairs, that girl could sit up straight and sitting up straight does things to tits that may make a gay man wish he was straight.

These pictures on the otherhand, may make a straight man wish he was gay, because they aren’t hot and are of Abi Harding, who is in some UK Indie Band that I’ve never heard of. She plays the saxophone because she has an oral fixation and here she is in a bikini showing off some small tits and a disgusting stomach scar and I’d say that all bitch needs to do is kick her shoulders back a bit to make it look like she has tits, or that she could use a good back injury to force her to sit up straight but it turns out that the scar is from a car accident where she coincidentally broke her spine but managed to walk again and that throws my back injury theory out the window. Thanks Abi Harding for making me look bad in front of my friends. Bitch!

Posted in:Abi Harding|Bikini