Two kids. Happily married. Sounds fucking boring to me. More importantly. They seriously ruin a good bikini pic. It’s like I know she, along with Snooki – lose their tampons when not wearing panties to hold them in place. …you know some stretched out vagina shit that her amazing fucking body doesn’t really override…when all her pictures involve how in love and happy her family is.

There needs to be a clause in every bikini model’s contract that if they ever have kids, even though they shouldn’t until they retire, they can’t post pics of their kids or husbands or boyfriends on the internet – it fucks with the dudes trying to fantasize about them – because they have a wife of their own, they don’t need to jerk off to some other asshole’s wife or mom…she’s gotta pretend that it didn’t happen and doesn’t exist. It’s her job and why she gets paid.

Let’s stick to the half nakedness. I can’t imagine anyone wants to see this shit. Not wife’s because they will resent her body. Not husbands because we don’t like moms and kids.

TO SEE THE BIKINI PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Bikini model, Alessandra Ambrosio, was in a bikini…posing with an inner tube and her kid while I was staring at her ass….

Partially because it is pretty amazing, but mainly because this is some supernatural shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Her ass looks great, but kids always destroy a woman – both spiritually and more importantly physically – despite what they will tell you – because mom’s feel guilty about admitting their kids fucking suck, since they were shat out of their vaginas and that doesn’t work for their egos, especially not after ruining their lives for the unappreciative fuckers. But I’m sure their husbands can.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Alessandra Ambrosio wore a bikini on the beach because when you go to a beach that’s what people do…even though most of them shouldn’t. I’m talking about the mangled stomach girl I posted on my Facebook who was fat shamed for being fat..because when you’re fat you shouldn’t wear a bikini – even if legally you are allowed…no one wants to see it…

One of the few people who have the VIP access card to wear a bikini pretty much anywhere…is a signed Victoria’s Secret model…because that stamp of approval is enough to say “I may be in my 30s, but we cool here, this bikini is something people pay to see, so consider yourself lucky to get it for free”…and I’m okay with that..

All this to say, if you’re a signed working model…you get a pass…all you other girls debating on what bikini to wear, maybe pass it by me first and I’ll let you know if you’re fit enough…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BIKONI PICS CLICK HERE

In more Alesandra Ambrosio news, she wore a dress with her kid that showcased the roundest little tits in the history of tits…leading me to think she’s upgraded her implants because it’s that 10 year mark when you trade them in…and she didn’t feel like going with the tear drop shape, or keeping things as small as they were in the past…she went bigger and rounder…these things happen.

Little known fact, most models have implants, so when you see your girl’s shitty tits, keep that in mind….the majority of the girls you jerk off to are plastic..and there is no merit in that…there is just a lot of money in it – cuz these bitches get paid…

I guess she could be in a push up bra, but where’s the fun in that.

I’m More into her silly breast implants CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio posted this picture to her instagram…and I approve.

I figure if you’re a bikini model, even if you’re an old tired mom that has already made more money than she ever really imagined she would – all thanks to a brand taking her under their evil, billion dollar wing, you still owe it to people to take some cues from some low level models and fame whore as hard as you can by getting as naked as you can on instagram without getting deleted.

It’s this fine line they walk for likes cuz it makes them feel good about themselves, and I guess they are hoping to get jobs…and I guess they are hoping to get billionaire boyfriends…I guess Alessandra doesn’t need any of that…she’s just posting her ass to post her ass and there’s something far more amazing about that than the fame whores…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Here’s a fucking stretch for you….Alessandra Ambrosio launched her Bikini line…that I have feeling is put out by the people at Victoria’s Secret. There’s no way they would let her do a bikini line of her own without their involvement. They own this bitch and she’s got contract upon contract with them – that it would never happen….but then again, they probably own all the bikini manufacturers overseas, and anyone making a bikini, is indirectly making Limited Brands and Victoria’s Secret money…

Either way, signature brands are hot right now. Milk our celebrity. Let us choose a style and worry about nothing else. Lend our name. Collect checks…makes sense.

What doesn’t make sense is how fucking boring these pics for the collection are. You would think the world would realize – bikini pics are boring…step it up…add some flavor…take it up a fucking notch….this is the instagram era, we’ve seen too many bikini pics.

This “pretty in a bikini” bullshit is depressing to look at…especially knowing how high budget this one…lazy fuckers.

TO SEE MORE PICS OF HER MODELING BIKINI CLICK HERE

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I don’t know what these pics of Alessandra Ambrosio eating her lollipop in Brazil are for. I don’t care that she’s a half naked mom working the street corner all made up like the kind of mom’s I like to hang out with at 4 am while drunk and near a back alley…I just want to see the video.

I know the whole mom thing would me you think she has horrible Lollipop eating skills, and is more of “just put it inside me, I sucked your dick for 3 minutes” kind of girl…you know up on some “I don’t want to put effort into this, I’m Alessandra Ambrosio, you’re lucky I’m letting you touch me”…kind of blow jobber that’s not a blow jobber at all…but ends up a breeder – cuz sometimes…you get pregnant and when you’re catholic…sometimes…you don’t get the abortion you probably should…because Religion makes decisions for us…especially when conflicted titty models are the ones knocked up…it’s like you can shit on Jesus as a career getting naked for men to jerk off to you – even married men…but you can’t abort his babies…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio put on some appropriate shorts to celebrate Brazil’s loss in a conversation that everyone seemed to be annoying me with yesterday…from Nazi jokes, to Nazi Jokes, to Brazilian ass jokes…to all kinds of other emotions that polluted my internet experience, because some asshole decided to turn the internet into some shitty cocktail party you can’t escape, when it used to be a place you used to just go to jerk off at…

I don’t know if I like this because I like broken women, sad they lost…or if I like model asses in shorts, but I guess it doesn’t matter…except maybe to every fucking BRazilian in the world collectively still crying..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Alessandra Ambrosio is a Victoria’s Secret model and apparently she eats Ice Cream…

Maybe that is shocking, maybe it is fascinating, because I guess she’s a model and models aren’t allowed to eat ice cream…

Even though models are generally naturally skinny and likely eat whatever the fuck they want all the time, except maybe 48 hours before a shoot.

She’s a mom of two and still has a lingerie model body…it’s genetics.

Don’t be angry cuz you or your significant other is a fat bitch who can’t eat ice cream because she doesn’t stop at one scoop, and doesn’t make it the only thing she eats all day when in front of the paparazzi trying to make a point.

Be angry at society for giving you unrealistic expectations in the first place, now throwing ice cream onto of it, and releasing images like this, now what is a bitter bitch looking at the Catalog going to do, blame photoshop for the body? It’s like Alessandra did this on purpose…to fuck with our minds..

What it comes down to is that, she’s a mom of two and who the fuck cares, her vagina is mangled. End of story.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio wore skimpy workout shorts in public because that’s what girls workout in, unless they are at Planet Fitness, giving you another reason, or really the main reason why we should all throw in the booze and hit the gym, because bar rat drunk bitches on drugs, just don’t have asses like this, you know the kind you can chip a tooth on even after they have kids, but do have asses, even when skinny are sloppy and falling off their malnourished weak bodies…I guess the only problem with fitness is that historically it makes you live longer and really who needs that…especially when we can just stare at fitness on instagram since every bitch loves posting her workout and abs…

Either way, Alessandra Ambrosio is a lingerie model…and yes her ass isn’t that great…and yes her underwear is too small and Visible Panty Line makes you think her ass cheek is suffocating…but I am still posting it.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Alessandra Ambrosio is fun at least when she’s modelling shoes and not really looking like Alessandra Ambrosio…not that Alessandra Ambrosio is a bad thing to look like…I am sure there are still teen girls locked in their bathrooms puking up lunch to be like her…and if that’s not a power position I don’t know what is…but I do know that tall models have big ass tranny feet and here she is getting paid to squeeze hers into high heels that I know at least one of you has a fetish for because you are collectively some of the weirdest people on the fucking internet…#fact.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio