Apparently Beyonce is on the cover of February’s GQ and one of the staffers at GQ leaked the shit…but not only did he leak it….he shot it from the best possible angle to give her serious fucking booty…in what almost looks like a racist cartoon of a black girl….from the 1920s…..and whenever I look at it…I laugh…it’s pantsless but as erotic as an Aunt Jamimina box….and remember boys and girls..this is the internet..nothing is every leaked…it’s all fucking strategy….but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hysterical…true story….
I guess she’s taking on a little advice from Rihanna…you know getting up on this showcase your tits for Social Media…while hiding the rest of your horrible body…cuz there’s obviously a little jealousy up in here…knowing how many records Rihanna sells and how much money Rihanna makes…even if that money’s going back to her pimp Jay-Z which in-turn is 50% Beyonce’s…cuz Beyonce’s already stupid rich and money doesn’t matter…it just reminds her that Rihanna’s got more going on…and more importantly…that Rihanna’s got more to give…cuz RIhanna hasn’t kept any babies she’s been knocked up with yet….and everyone knows…moms are never as good as their slutty, younger, counterparts….but I still apppreciate Beyonce’s effort…A for Effort….cuz reality is…she could just be real housewiving it….kickin’ it without putting her titties out there….
Beyonce made the horrible decision to show off her mom body that may not even be a mom body because she may have staged the pregnancy and it is just a fat sloppy body….by wearing a one piece bathing suit under a sheer skirt to the Costume Institute Gala last night….without grasping the simple concept that we don’t even want to see her at the fucking beach dressed like this…you know save the water sports and tanning for the tight body bitches we wanna fuck…unless you’re at a mom aerobics class where you belong with other bitches in the same situation….herding you cows together so we don’t accidently run into you and have it ruin our day….
Luckily. Amber Heard wore a push up bra to make it all seem ok.
A lot of other bitches were in attendence….from Chritina Ricci to who the fuck cares…..but if you do…..then…..follow the below link
We learned last year that People Magazine editorial titles can be bought by celebrities like J.Lo, who want the title of “Most Beautiful Woman”….especially when the person who wants it is some spoiled cunt celebrity who is powerful as fuck in the industry and probably has the best lawyers and publicists and strong attachment to key advertisers who together have the ability to say “Make my client he most beautiful woman or you don’t get anymore exclusives on any of my clients and we’ll pull the Cover Girl ad, you hear me, People Magazine, we fucking own you”…..
Well it has happened again….this time with equally annoying Beyonce…..exciting.
Beyonce is on some self promotional kick that involves posting pics of her mom body in her bikini on the internet like a good attention seeking whore….but unfortunately, it is Beyonce we are talking about, and her clothed or not is never fucking good….She’s just too horrible a diva for me to even appreciate her tit hanging out of her bikini top that’s a few sizes too small for her little mom tits…..the only good thing about this is that she’s sitting and strategically not shoving the typical horrible of baby making and hardcore fried Chicken eating body parts….like belly, thighs, ass or pussy….not that I wouldn’t look if she did…but think this was a smart move…
Here’s some Big News…..and I’m not just saying that cuz it is black history month…and I am not just saying it cuz Beyonce’s all fat and big milk filled titty…I am saying it cuz the media is posting these pics of Beyonce’s big body debut post birthing…and I say who fucking cares….
I just don’t get celebrity gossip….do people email this around like she’s an old friend….you know do they talk about it at the office around the water cooler because they have no life, friend, interests, depth, personality…
I mean haven’t we given her enough fucking love, we made her rich by listening to her music, buying her music, and going to her concerts….despite her Delusions that she’s actually the one giving us the gift of her voice by making us pay for her shit….
What I’m trying to say is fuck this noise….and by noise I mean the cracking of the ground beneath her fat fucking feet. I hate this bitch. She’s the devil.
I love the bullshit scandal about Beyonce faking her pregnancy….I don’t know why, maybe it is cuz it is such a ridiculous thing to do…even though I have my theories about Jay Z and her being business partners and not actually fuck partners….cuz Jay Z owns the right to Rihanna and according to Esquire she’s the sexiest bitch of 2011…so why would he bother with some fat has been trying to hold on….see I figure Beyonce just wants to maintain a relationship with her fried chicken, you know rekindle it like back when they sponsored her tour and she had an all access pass to their deep fried goodness, while getting press that she’s a mom, only to adopt a kid in 9 months and pretend it is hers….
The whole thing may be confusing, but I’m sure it is fact..but then again I’m a pretty paranoid person and I believe nothing…especially when the baby bump folds in half….and Beyonce’s the kind of girl who only fucks herself in front of the mirror while laying on a pile of diamonds…who knows…but more importantly…who cares…
Beyonce tried to sex up or maybe play up her pregnant ass….in her new video for a song called Countdown, cuz that’s just the kind of kind she is, you know so in love with herself that the idea of having a kid of her own, is just too much for the bitch to deal with and grasp because she thinks it’s such a glorious thing for the world to have her spawn, so she celebrates the shit by showing off her panties, her bra, her tight outfits with some slutty dance for guys who like prenant bitches to jerk off to, and the nice thing is that her pregnancy is a great excuse gor her fatness….finally she can put that Popeyes stigma to rest….Racist.
Beyonce performed at Glastonbury. The performance brought out 80,000 people and as a direct result of staring directly at her vagina in a leotard like she was Gaga/Rihanna/Britney/Katy Perry, 90 percent of those who weren’t already gay, are now gay…..True Story…
Edgy Hipster Fashion magazine called Dazed & Confused did a shoot with Beyonce in the trailer park. They called it “The Simple Life”, where they glammed bitch up, sexed bitch up in lingerie, and set her doing low mocking poor person middle America shit….from eating Fruit Loops, to drinking slurpies to whatever else is going on in the picture and as a poor person…I take offense to this….but only cuz I want to see an uprising that makes Beyonce look like the devil cunt I know she is…
See, I get the irony cuz it’s obvious and not that crafty and I’m not an idiot…I can always see through the parody, high concept shit fashion faggots come up with… Beyonce this fashion icon with all the money in the world..successful and rich in her own right, married to a billionaire on top of her pile of stupid money she’s got…living in 5 star hotels and designer clothes, glammed up and pampered…in a setting that so many Tornados have just recently torn up….
See, she’s too good for this kind of thing, alienating a huge percentage of her white trash trailer park fans…mocking them as they pick up the rubble of their lives…obnoxious and insensitive…tacky new money doesn’t remember where her granny the slave was brought up….behavior…
So everyone turn on Beyonce while she’s trying to turn you on….
Here’s the video to hammer that nail in your white trash heart
