I know Lohan isn’t from New Jersey, but she is from Long Island and I can only assume that Long Island is like Jersey, only there’s more new money in the shit, but it’s equally as trashy, or maybe Lohan’s just jealous that Snooki is getting all the attention and decided that it’d make sense to swagger jack her.

You know the dyed black hair, the tits busting out of the shit, the making out with random old men who give her attention because they are huge fashion designers and convincing herself she’s friends with him by hanging with him, and making it look like they are best buddies by raping his face, making her feel better about the direction her career has taken, you know, like she’s still relevant….and as long as I am alive, she is still relevant, she is everything I like about the American Dream….the only thing I hate about her is that she’s not raping my face…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Cavalli|Kissing|Lindsay Lohan