Team Fuck was invited to join Drunken Stepfather months ago, but I decided to wait untill I had somthing to say. To be honest, I couln’t think of anything… untill now! Vegans suck cock. Which, if you ask me, is like a lesbian using a dildo. You made your fucking decision, stick with it. I have partied with straight edge (or sXe as its known in the “scene”) kids in the past and to put it bluntly, they are boring. Boring-waste my time- social abortions. If you dont drink, dont do drugs and dont eat meat, you must be a fag. Not that I mind fags, but covering it up by being straight edge is lame. I mean, after all, the only socialy acceptable vice left is being gay. The cocaine is crap, TV has scared kids away from heroin, rave drugs are out like phant pants and the magazine hasnt been cool since 2000.

Well ladies and gentlemen, its 2005. The bling era is reaching its climax, punk is dead, and being vagan is gay. This is the Fuck Era.

Fuck sluts, get high, break shit and FREE PARIS!

Team Fuck Tshirt contest coming soon!

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Today’s product of the day is the medical air casts, I never had a medical fetish – but I always get a hard-on when I get a colonoscopy. I think I like the humilation of having a camera up my ass and shit all over the technician’s hands….may sound gross but it’s hot!

Air Casts
What a novel concept! Inflatable air casts!! We were so excited about these wonderfully clever and easy to use immobilizers, that we added them to our mail-order catalogue immediately! Now they are available here, too! The idea is to simply insert the hand, arm or leg into the deflated cast, inflate with the handy tube, lock down the inflation valve and poof! You now have a very immobile body part! Once you have the arms and legs completely inflated, the patient/sub is pretty much helpless! The hand/wrist air casts are great since they are shorter than the full arm and can allow for the arms to be bound behind the back. Get the entire set! The combinations and imaginations for use of these Air Casts are countless! For even more intensity wrap two large (BW1) bondage wraps around them… Or try strapping them to the bondage board … oh, heavenly!

via Medical Toys

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Is this even worth posting? Anna Nicole’s breasts taped at the Australian MTV Awards. Bitch is fucking out of control with her weight loss pills. drug addiction, sex with the elderly and public humiliation. I figured I would post it, because a tit is a tit even if it’s on some sketchy bitch. She totally reminds me of the crack years when I was sleeping with this insomniac chick. She was always convulsing and talking craziness, but bitch could suck a good cock….

Pictures after the Jump

Via Popdoh

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She won an oscar – she looks like a dude – she played a dude, who didn’t cry. I guess the only thing I can really respect about her is that she is straight from the trailer park. I remember when I worked as a caretaker at a trailer park, I drank a bottle of drain-o with the boys. I got right fucked up – but I am still standing. That’s more than we can say for poor Reggie….

Hilary Swank Tits after the jump….

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This is a shirt that says “Please Stop Biting My Rhyme”. I made it the shirt of the day because it brought back memories of when I was a hip hop MC in the 80s. This was a short lived thing that I did to make money, we had a little local thing going down in Texas and I like to think that I am the reason Hip Hop is where it’s at today.

I remember one of my rhymes was:

i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

You all know where that went…motherfuckers bit my rhyme!

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I will go to the extent to say that teenage experimentation sometimes goes a little bit too far. I guess there is nothing wrong with self-discovery, but I do have minor issues with auto-felatio. I don’t mean to be judgemental and shit, but busting a load down my throat reminds me too much of prison and I have a nice wife and stepkids now, I don’t really want to revisit those years….

Today’s comment is:

When i was younger i used to do a lot of sport and by the time I was 15 I was able to self suck lying on my back and pulling my knees right behind my head.
I used to be able to get about half of my cock into my mouth and although it was a bit of a stretch i could actually cum in my mouth with my cock still inside. I could do this until I was 22, when I bruised my back trampolining and didn’t try it for about 6 months.
Horror of horrors the next time I attempted to self suck, the closest i could get my dick to my mouth was about three inches away and however hard I tried I never got it back in my mouth again.
After a while i stopped trying, and anyway it feels a hell of a lot nicer having someone else doing the sucking.

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Dude, this bitch is disgusting. I know you all have seen what she looks like now as a boxer, I am sure you remember what she looked like back in the day when she was clubbing her competition in the knee…she is trash and like all good trash the fruits of their success comes with the purchase of one of those fancy video cameras. What better to do with the video camera that videotape you figure skating ass fucking….

Here is the Tanya Harding Honeymoon sex tape

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The OC is the hottest thing on TV. My step daughters freak out over the shit. They are all over that Seth Cohen geek. I tell them they need to date real men, not pussy bitches who live in mommy and daddy’s mansion. I was so happy about the lesbian scene, because it got the girls acting all experimental dude… you wouldn’t know how hot it is to see sister on sister action…..

Rachel Bilson Nip Slip After the Jump (probs a fake)

Via USEMYCOMPUTER

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The OC is the hottest thing on TV. My step daughters freak out over the shit. They are all over that Seth Cohen geek. I tell them they need to date real men, not pussy bitches who live in mommy and daddy’s mansion. I was so happy about the lesbian scene, because it got the girls acting all experimental dude… you wouldn’t know how hot it is to see sister on sister action…..

Rachel Bilson Nip Slip After the Jump (probs a fake)

Via USEMYCOMPUTER

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No matter what I say – Beatboxing is lame. You can watch these videos and tell me this shit is a talent and how sick it is. I don’t care what you have to say, I know what’s cool and what’s not – and this is clearly pure
stupidity anyway you dice it…get it…dice it..I know girls may be watching this thinking, look how he moves his mouth, that would feel so nice on my pussy and shit, but then they realize dude’s a beatboxer, that’s like having unprotected sex with a homeless person…you shouldn’t roll like that….

Word, I am so urban.

beat box harmonica

“Art” of Beatbox (NOTIcE ART IS IN QUOTES)

air drumming like beatboxing

Kenny Muhammad

Beatboxin with an Orchestra”

Beatboxin’ Up close

BONUS: AUDIO FILE

This is Creepy

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