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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2005

16

Feb

I am – Video of the Day

“You are always there to help a lending hand dear. I love you most of all because you are you.” These are the words I like to send to all video clips I watch. I think they get enough love on the net, like the local slut, but I also think people just watch the clips and forget about them….well not me…I love them and I am not embarassed to tell the worls

Video clips after the jump…..

Guy doing weird things with his eyes
here

Sore Loser (old but funny)
here

Light Tower Collapses
here

Simpson’s Voices on Conana
here

Chicken Shit Bingo
here

Guy Pierces his own Tongue!
here

Clowns
here

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2005

16

Feb

I am – Amanda Bynes: Jewish celeb of the Day


A big thank you to our friends at JEWS KICK ASSThe chosen tee shirt for the chosen people….
Yep, Amanda from The Amanda Show, is Jewish! (don’t feel bad I have never heard of the show either). Amanda Laura Bynes was born on April 3, 1986 in Thousand Oaks, California. In 1999, thirteen-year-old Amanda was given her own variety show, “The Amanda Show,” in which she starred in all of the skits except “Totally Kyle”. One of Amanda’s earliest TV moments was when she gave introduced the “Jewish/Catholic” episode of “A Walk In Your Shoes” on Nickolodeon’s Noggin channel. The intro featured Amanda talking about her half-Jewish, half-Catholic upbringing and how cool it is to practice different religions.

Although “The Amanda Show,” went off the air in 2001 when Amanda was at the ripe old age of fifteen, Ms. Bynes has been keeping busy. In 2002, she co-starred with Jennie Garth in “What I Like About You” as Holly, a 16-year-old girl who moves in with her sister after their father decides to move to Japan. She also celebrated her Sweet Sixteenth birthday and got her drivers license on April 3, 2002.

On April 3, 2004, Amanda celebrated her eighteenth birthday on the 17th Annual KCA Awards where we she won an award for best actress for her role as Daphne, a girl searching for her father, in “What a Girl Wants.” She graduated from Thousand Oaks High School’s independent study program on June 10, 2004 and filmed “Lovewreck” in 2004.

More Info after the Jump


IMDB BIO:
Amanda Laura Bynes was born on April 3, 1986 in Thousand Oaks, California. The youngest of three children, she became interested in acting and performing from the very young age of three, when she would say her older sister Jillian’s lines with her while she performed in plays. It was from then on that her family and friends knew that she would be a star some day.

Her acting debut was in 1996 when she auditioned for and got the role as a newcomer on “All That.” Right away, she became very popular as people enjoyed her acting and skits, especially the “Ask Ashley” skit where she played a little girl running an advice column who would get very angry every time she read a letter.

In 1999, thirteen-year-old Amanda was given her own variety show, “The Amanda Show,” in which she starred in all of the skits except “Totally Kyle”.

In 2001, she co-starred with Frankie Muniz in “Big Fat Liar” as Kaylee, Jason’s friend who helps him prove that he really did write the essay “Big Fat Liar” and regain his father’s trust. It was also in 2001 that she began dating Taran Killam, from “The Amanda Show” and “Big Fat Liar,” who is four years and two days older than she is. She also won a Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award and, at age fifteen, ended “The Amanda Show.”

In 2002, she began co-starring with Jennie Garth in “What I Like About You” as Holly, a 16-year-old girl who moves in with her sister after their father decides to move to Japan. She also celebrated her Sweet Sixteenth birthday and got her drivers license on April 3, 2002.

In 2003, Amanda won two KCA Awards and starred as Daphne, a girl searching for her father in “What a Girl Wants” with Colin Firth and Kelly Preston as her parents. She continued acting in “What I Like About You” and broke up with Taran.

On April 3, 2004, Amanda celebrated her eighteenth birthday on the 17th Annual KCA Awards where we she won an award for best actress for her role in “What a Girl Wants.” She graduated from Thousand Oaks High School’s independent study program on June 10, 2004 and filmed “Lovewreck” in 2004.

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2005

15

Feb

I am – Born Today (Feb 15)


Every person has one special day…Their birthday. Due to poplular demand we will continue this feature and bring you the top 5 people who were born on this day. Read on and see who was born on Feb 15.

The top 5 people BORN TODAY:

#5) Jane Seymour (02/15/1951 – )English actor

Quote: “Even though I make those movies, I find myself wishing that more of those magic moments could happen in real life.”

#4) Sigismund (02/15/1368 – 12/09/1437) Germanic emperor

Quote: “I am the Roman emperor, and am above grammar.”

#3) Matt Groening (02/15/1954 – )Simpsons creator

Quote: “When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.”

#2)John Barrymore:(02/15/1882 – 05/29/1942)actor,(brother of Ethel and Lionel, father of John Drew, grandfather of Drew)

Quote:
Katherine Hepburn: “Thank God I don’t have to act with you anymore!”
John Barrymore: “I didn’t realize you ever had, darling.”

#1) Galileo Galilei (02/15/1564 – 01/08/1642) Italian scientist/astronomer

Quote: “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.”

Jane Seymour Mr skin bio and Galileo pics after the Jump

Mr. Skin Bio: Jane Seymour

To be acknowledged by the slightly skewed half-smile of British star of stage and dream Jane Seymour, having met the glittery challenge of her eyes as they look down her long, refined nose, this contact is to risk being mesmerized and enchanted. Seymour’s first step in world seduction was as a swinging ’60s London model, which was but a short skip to the femme fatale lead opposite James Bond in Live and Let Die (1973). Jane’s rarefied sensuality and ass-long hair have never faded from style; she’s been a class-act fixture on the small screen for more than twenty years. Her most lasting impression is from Lassiter (1984), in which, fully naked, she adorned a bed with her so sophisticated seat cushions raised to be appraised. And there is that smile, slightly skewed, fully verticle.
Skinfo: Jane took a tip from Lady Godiva and used her voluminous tresses to hide much of what she undressed in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977).
Quote: From Jane Seymour’s Guide to Romantic Living: “Your dream person needn’t remain a figment of your imagination. You can walk right into your dreams and come out a new person.” Dream a little dream of Jane.

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2005

15

Feb

i am-soaking wet for jesus martinez

okay fuckers, its tuesday, the day after cupid came all over the americanised world. let me tell you something about my day yesterday, it was filled with chocolate pleasure. to be brief, i masterbated with the glasses case that my brother got for vallentines day from his girlfriend, i had chocolate covered anal sex with fabio and his uncle juan, but nothing really special. as i was leaving from a home delivery, i decided to pay my friend jesus a visit. he lives ontop of this white trash strip club, so for me to get into his building i had to run around the block four times to produce enough sweat to matte my hair and cause sweat stains to appear on my silver evening gown (i dont do holiday colors) and of course, bum a kanawake cigarette off this kid for a blowjob.

Minxy Winxy’s Last Story After The Jump – Read It Because this is her last post
She tragically died of complications related to AIDS yesterday evening at around 8 pm. Her life was short, but not short in life, goodbye Minxy, we will remember all the good times…

so i get into his building, and he doesnt know i am coming, so he answers the door in nothing but his astronaut uniform (which he wears to bed and on first dates). instinctively i grab for his loins and jump him. i did not know at that point if he was as excited in seeing me as i was with seeing him, but he could definately tell that i was happy to see him. i brought julio, my person documentarist with me and he got everything on tape. we started off with the fleshlights, me showing off my oral skills and him showing off the tricks his fingers can do, and then i could not take it anymore. i grabbed his hand, shoved it down my pants and said “deep sea diving has some nice scenic views this season”. he ripped off my dress, wrapped his arms around me and brought me down onto his lap. i started to give him a lap dance, each time undoing his astronaut costume a little more untill he was nude except for the helmet. i lowered my body down infront of him onto my knees and started to give him serious head. serious because i’ve never given head to an astronaut before, so i was feeling honoured. i was lapping away at it and then he takes off his helmet and he says to me “happy valentines day ho” and i let him finish off, i licked my fingers and said “you too jesus”, got my dress back on, grabbed a handfull of condoms and heart shaped chocolates, and found my way home. julio stayed though, and i still havent seen him.

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2005

15

Feb

I am – Lindsay Lohan Barbie Doll

We are a little slow on this because we were too busy with the prostitutes last night. I know you don’t believe that we can affor prostitutes, and you are right. These were the discount kind that you find in bus stations across the nation. That being said, Mattel is making a Lohan doll…and this is the story…enjoy…

Barbie Doll Made in Lindsay Lohan’s Likeness, Wearing Beige Dress and Faux Fur-Trimmed Coat

NEW YORK Feb 15, 2005 — Are you a Lohan girl, living in a Lohan world?

Lindsay Lohan, the red-haired “Mean Girls” star, is getting the Barbie treatment with a new doll made in her likeness. The doll is dressed in full red-carpet splendor, wearing a beige dress and a faux fur-trimmed coat.

The Mattel doll comes complete with a director’s chair and her very own velvet rope, the company announced recently. Part of the toy maker’s “My Scene” line, the Lohan doll is due out in June and will retail for about $30.

Celebrities May Testify in Jackson Case
Meet the Next Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li
Special Coverage: Oscars 2005

The first peek at the Lohan doll will come at the annual American International Toy Fair, which starts Sunday in New York and concludes Feb. 23.

Lohan, 18, also starred in “Freaky Friday” and recently finished shooting “Herbie: Fully Loaded,” an update of the Disney story about a plucky Volkswagen Beetle.

via ABC

Bonus – Valderrama Doll After the Jump

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2005

15

Feb

I am – Video Clips of the Day

If Video Killed the Radio Star, then the internet killed something too. I am thinking the record industry, TV viewership, print newspapers and mastubation to catalogs and national geographic. The point of this post is not to get into a sybiotic discussion about the internet as the fastest growing media, but to deliver you some clips that will make you laugh. So click the jump if you want to laugh.

Naked Clips form Filipino Movies
Here

American Idol Vegas Show Girl
Here

Helicopter Argument Between Co-Pilot and Pilot
Here

Idiots on Camera To Baby Got Back Song
Here

SICK breakdancing
Here

Coffessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber
Here

Woman Drawn From The inside Out
Here

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2005

14

Feb

I am – Lohan

If you are one of the five screaming girls that are fans of Lindsay’s music then today is your lucky day. Brought to you first from the “The Home of Lohan” is her latest music video for her song “over.”

Video Here

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2005

14

Feb

I am – Valentine's Day Masturbation Techniques

I know a lot of you readers are perverts. I know a lot of you probably don’t get laid often and probably can’t afford a hooker, so I decided to give all of you some great masturbation tips on the lonliest day of the year, to help you get through the night and hopefully to prevent a couple of suicides.

Masturbation techniques – After the jump

BANANA MAN

This is an easy one. Simply peel a banana (you can eat it later), slip the peel over your penis, and masturbate with it. The banana slime is a great lubricant. You can warm up the peel in the microwave for added sensations. Also, you might have better results if you peel the banana by making just one cut in the peel and removing the fruit through the single cut; you can then cut off the end of the banana peel and insert your penis through that end.

THE LITTLE BOXERS

Put on some old boxer shorts that are too small, and pull your penis and scrotum out of the fly. Then pull the shorts up so they are tight, and fold the tops down, so you have a little bikini-type thing with your penis sticking out the front. This puts pressure on your penis that feels good, and masturbating like this provides a different sensation.

Variation: Use your little brothers superman tighties…it’s fucking hot…

MATTRESS SANDWICH

This one is rather odd but cool. First get an erection, and then take a pillow and crawl between the box-spring and mattress of a twin-size bed. (Full, king, and queen mattresses are too heavy.) Lie on your back, position the pillow between you and the mattress, and thrust your hips against the pillow. The weight of the mattress is a new and interesting sensation. Beware — If someone walks in on you, you’ll have a tough time talking your way out of this one!

VARIATION: WITH A CONDOM
If you use a condom while using this technique, the sensation is better and the orgasm lasts a bit longer.

EGGPLANT JAM

Select an eggplant that is sufficiently larger than your erect penis. Cut a hole in the peel that’s the exact size of the base of your erect penis. Then make a hole in the pulp smaller than your erection (using a broom handle works well). Then put the eggplant in the microwave for about a minute and a half, just so it gets warm inside and starts to get a little soft, but don’t really cook it. Then, after you make sure with your finger that the inside is cool enough, put in some lube (try coconut oil), put the eggplant between a couple of pillows, and make eggplant jam. Or, you can lie on your back and just move the eggplant back and forth on your erect penis.

PURE GOLD

For someone with a little pocket money to spend: First, buy a small container of Gold Bond Medicated Powder at the drugstore. Throw a towel onto your bed and lie on top of it. (Gold Bond sticks to everything, so it’s good to be able to shake out the towel and have a shower after.) The technique itself is very simple: Just sprinkle a bit of the powder onto your hand, rub it onto your penis, and enjoy — no masturbation required. After a few minutes it will start to tingle. This sensation will grow until it’s almost a burning
sensation, but it doesn’t actually hurt. The stimulation alone will give you an erection. The sensation will change almost to numbness, but it will be blissful at the same time. This feeling lasts for a good, long while until your brain kind of shifts into orgasm mode. The stimulation is subtle, but because the stimulation doesn’t slow down during the orgasm, it is very intense. (Not everyone who tries this technique will get all the way to orgasm without additional stimulation.) You can put some on your scrotum, too, for added pleasure. Try holding back for as long as you can. A can of Gold Bond costs about $5, but it goes a long way.

THE BAGGIE & THE MATTRESS

Get a plastic sandwich baggie and put some Vaseline in it. Then put your penis in and squish all the Vaseline around so it covers your penis. Once that is done, kneel in front of a bed. Lift the up mattress and put your penis, with the baggie still on it, between the mattress and the box-spring. Start pumping as if you were having sex. When you’re done, all you have to do is throw away the baggie.

Bonus : Lube Recipe

SLICK-ACTION LUBE

Ingredients:
3 soup spoons of mayonnaise
1 teaspoon clove-oil extract
1 cup olive oil
1/2 large tube K-Y Jelly

Mix ingredients well in a bowl. With your hand, pick up a large glop and place your penis into it. Begin to stroke.

It’s messy but cool, soothing, and the clove oil gives your erection new rigor.

via JackinWorld (oops)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

14

Feb

I am – Valentine’s Day Masturbation Techniques

I know a lot of you readers are perverts. I know a lot of you probably don’t get laid often and probably can’t afford a hooker, so I decided to give all of you some great masturbation tips on the lonliest day of the year, to help you get through the night and hopefully to prevent a couple of suicides.

Masturbation techniques – After the jump

BANANA MAN

This is an easy one. Simply peel a banana (you can eat it later), slip the peel over your penis, and masturbate with it. The banana slime is a great lubricant. You can warm up the peel in the microwave for added sensations. Also, you might have better results if you peel the banana by making just one cut in the peel and removing the fruit through the single cut; you can then cut off the end of the banana peel and insert your penis through that end.

THE LITTLE BOXERS

Put on some old boxer shorts that are too small, and pull your penis and scrotum out of the fly. Then pull the shorts up so they are tight, and fold the tops down, so you have a little bikini-type thing with your penis sticking out the front. This puts pressure on your penis that feels good, and masturbating like this provides a different sensation.

Variation: Use your little brothers superman tighties…it’s fucking hot…

MATTRESS SANDWICH

This one is rather odd but cool. First get an erection, and then take a pillow and crawl between the box-spring and mattress of a twin-size bed. (Full, king, and queen mattresses are too heavy.) Lie on your back, position the pillow between you and the mattress, and thrust your hips against the pillow. The weight of the mattress is a new and interesting sensation. Beware — If someone walks in on you, you’ll have a tough time talking your way out of this one!

VARIATION: WITH A CONDOM
If you use a condom while using this technique, the sensation is better and the orgasm lasts a bit longer.

EGGPLANT JAM

Select an eggplant that is sufficiently larger than your erect penis. Cut a hole in the peel that’s the exact size of the base of your erect penis. Then make a hole in the pulp smaller than your erection (using a broom handle works well). Then put the eggplant in the microwave for about a minute and a half, just so it gets warm inside and starts to get a little soft, but don’t really cook it. Then, after you make sure with your finger that the inside is cool enough, put in some lube (try coconut oil), put the eggplant between a couple of pillows, and make eggplant jam. Or, you can lie on your back and just move the eggplant back and forth on your erect penis.

PURE GOLD

For someone with a little pocket money to spend: First, buy a small container of Gold Bond Medicated Powder at the drugstore. Throw a towel onto your bed and lie on top of it. (Gold Bond sticks to everything, so it’s good to be able to shake out the towel and have a shower after.) The technique itself is very simple: Just sprinkle a bit of the powder onto your hand, rub it onto your penis, and enjoy — no masturbation required. After a few minutes it will start to tingle. This sensation will grow until it’s almost a burning
sensation, but it doesn’t actually hurt. The stimulation alone will give you an erection. The sensation will change almost to numbness, but it will be blissful at the same time. This feeling lasts for a good, long while until your brain kind of shifts into orgasm mode. The stimulation is subtle, but because the stimulation doesn’t slow down during the orgasm, it is very intense. (Not everyone who tries this technique will get all the way to orgasm without additional stimulation.) You can put some on your scrotum, too, for added pleasure. Try holding back for as long as you can. A can of Gold Bond costs about $5, but it goes a long way.

THE BAGGIE & THE MATTRESS

Get a plastic sandwich baggie and put some Vaseline in it. Then put your penis in and squish all the Vaseline around so it covers your penis. Once that is done, kneel in front of a bed. Lift the up mattress and put your penis, with the baggie still on it, between the mattress and the box-spring. Start pumping as if you were having sex. When you’re done, all you have to do is throw away the baggie.

Bonus : Lube Recipe

SLICK-ACTION LUBE

Ingredients:
3 soup spoons of mayonnaise
1 teaspoon clove-oil extract
1 cup olive oil
1/2 large tube K-Y Jelly

Mix ingredients well in a bowl. With your hand, pick up a large glop and place your penis into it. Begin to stroke.

It’s messy but cool, soothing, and the clove oil gives your erection new rigor.

via JackinWorld (oops)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

14

Feb

I am – Geri Haliwell Topless on Beach

I tell you what I want – what I really, really want, I want a stripper turned pop star naked on the beach. Yes, I have seen her erotic pics from when she was working back alley strip clubs back in the UK, but now that she has money, her taste is a little more expensive, and her tits are a little smaller, she is still the same UK Stripping slut to me.

So after the jump- you will find a Geri Halliwell topless on the beach….



Via TaxiDriverMovie

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