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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2005

08

Jan

I am – Hilton Sisters in Bikinis

Hilton sisters on the beach, just so everyone knows I was working the assembly line, closing the lids on jars. I am very bitter. I haven’t seen the ocean in 20 years, and here these rich girls are mocking us. I would so love to knock one of them up! PALIMONY for life motherfucker. I am wondering what ever happened to the one-piece bathing suit, all these girls rock the bikini!

More pics after the jump


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2005

07

Jan

I am – Spam of the Day

Remember – This is just the spam i got, I don’t have the link, I don’t know where to get the DVDs, but read the spam it’s fuckin porno. I don’t advocate spamming people, but I do like to fuck spam the meat, it smells better than my wife’s cooch

From: Elmira Samuelson
To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Sent: Monday, January 03, 2005 6:17 AM
Subject: fisttimer ass reamings

Anal Sex

Of all the sexual encounters possible, a girl’s first time at getting anal will undoubtedly be her most memorable! From that almost unbearable moment of initial penetration to the last balls-deep thrust, she will never forget how it felt! Like most girls, the ones we film have no idea what this is gonna feel like, and boy are they in for a surprise!

Check out the exclusive DVD Quality Movies NOW

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2005

07

Jan

I am – Google Image of the Day

Today’s word is gooch. The gooch is the ass-neck, or the connection between your asshole and your balls. You can see the results here

With every search comes the stepfather top 5 list. Today I am going to switch things up with thumbnails instead of the past “here” links. Are you excited, I am, but not because of the thumbnails, but because the girls are having a slumber party tonight.

Bearded Gooch.

More Google Images of the Day after the jump

A Gooch and a Ponytail

Gooch Got Teeth

I got this gooch under control

Even Jesus had a Gooch

BONUS GOOCH

This Gooch has Class

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2005

07

Jan

I am – Friendster Message of the Day

This is a message I got from a tranny named Macauley Culkin. He actually sent it to all his friends, and for some reason I am one of his friends.I have nothing against trannies, I am a huge fan of all the Rogue Adventure movies…nothing like cock and tits on the same body.

The message goes a little something like this

Subject: Moving in a snowstorm
ok, so my roommate who has been saying she’ll leave
and then deciding to stay for the past six months is
finally moving out.
This means… I need a roommate for Feb. 1st.
Someone queer/trans positive is a MUST. Please
forward this to anyone who might be interested.

I am a nice transexual. I am an art student. I am
rarely home (for real) and if I am I will probably want to
work. This means that you should be good at
entertaining yourself. I want to live with someone who
is politically aware, clean, financially stable enough to
cover rent, and fun to be around (doesn’t everybody!?)
I have no tv, but I wont’ kick you in the teeth if you
move in with one.
Please pass the word around, finding a roommate is
really stressing me out.
Oh yeah, and if you’re interested, email me:
piratejosh@yahoo.ca


It’s Interests:

becoming bitter and jaded while retaining elasticity and vitality in my skin, dr. phil, trusting my goat. I’ve recently taken to buying lovely crockery and patterned plates at the local Goodwill. I also like old woodwork.


About Him

On top of my computer is a Hulk Hogan action figure riding a moose.
I have a lot of books.
I am one of those people you don’t notice first in the room.
But I am not bored.

It’s Picture:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

07

Jan

I am – Testy Fest


I noticed that they have had coverage in a bunch of magazines including Hustler and Maxim. I don’t read magazines (I don’t know how to read), and if I did, neither hustler or maxim would make my list of shitty magazines to read.

More after the jump

Testy Festy is probably the trashiest event I have ever come across, and I have come across at least three events in my day. This is like the Gay Pride Parade for poor people. I am poor, but I don’t congregate with poverty.

The ticket pricing is even designed for people and their Trailers.

General Admission: $10.00
Tent/Pickup Canopy: $10.00
RV/5th Wheel, etc: $20.00
Sunday Half Price

No Kids, Hassles or Brought-In Beverages

Here are a few pics from the event (I could only get 9 because they have bandwidth restictions, those poor fucks)

Watch the Shades they are from The dollar Store

I couldn’t afford pants so I wore my best thong

Thanks for bailing me out…Dad

Double Fisting

What dreams are made of, cock and moustache

My muff-gut brings all the boys to the trailer park

Grandma, look what I’ve been hiding all these years…

To visit the site, click the logo

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2005

07

Jan

I am – Jewish Friendster

These guys copied friendster down to the homepage images called it choosenet.com and madeit for Jews. I love it!

ChosenNet is an online Jewish community where members meet new people through networks of friends. Whether you want to meet someone new yourself or just want to help your friends who do, ChosenNet is fast, easy, and fun. Basic membership is free!

Here

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2005

07

Jan

I am – Technical Virgin

This site advocates teens give up sex to avoid risking unwanted pregnancy instead — ANAL SEX! “perfect venue for modern teen lust”. They think oral sex is ok too.

Some of their Testimonials

REBECCA K., Great Falls, MT
I know what you’re thinking: “Anal sex?! Gross! No way!” But it’s so cool! My boyfriends get totally turned on by watching me lube up, and I don’t worry anymore about getting pregnant. And anal is definitely the fast track to the “in” crowd: Ever since I started taking it anal, I’ve been way popular at school!

KAREN C., Ypsilanti, N.D.
I want a lot out of life, but I know that I can’t afford to raise a kid right now, and I’m way too young to get married. That’s why I stopped risking my future by having sex with boys and hooked up with my best galpal, Claire. We may be straight, but we’d rather eat pussy than get preganant!

JEREMY T., Holyoke, MA
I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I’d bend over for her strap-on, she’d bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal.

Creative Date Ideas

BOBBY L., Detroit, MI
Yo, I know how to treat my girl right. I always show her the same respect I want to get back from her. I never ask her to swallow my spunk until I go down on her first. It’s just common courtesy.

MARIA F., Zebulon, GA
When I started dating, boys always expected me to have intercourse with them. I knew I couldn’t resist the peer pressure alone, so now I double-date with my pal Shelly. Now when boys pressure us for sex, we say “no” together – then satisfy them by putting on a hot girl-girl show in the back seat

DANIELLE V., Buffalo, N.Y.
My boyfriend always asks to have sex. “Come on, baby,” he begs me, all the time. I feel really bad about making him wait, but I know that if I have sex with him too soon, he won’t respect me. But I also know that if he ain’t satisfied with me, he’ll date some other girl. So once a month I show him how much I really love him by coughing up the $500 to get him a really top-quality call girl to fuck him silly.

Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

07

Jan

I am – Jewish Fact of the day; Abortion

Today’s Jewish fact of the day is brought you by Sinai Kosher Hot Dogs.

Enjoy!

Jewish law not only permits, but in some circumstances requires abortion. Where the mother’s life is in jeopardy because of the unborn child, abortion is mandatory.

An unborn child has the status of “potential human life” until the majority of the body has emerged from the mother. Potential human life is valuable, and may not be terminated casually, but it does not have as much value as a life in existence. The Talmud makes no bones about this: it says quite bluntly that if the fetus threatens the life of the mother, you cut it up within her body and remove it limb by limb if necessary, because its life is not as valuable as hers. But once the greater part of the body has emerged, you cannot take its life to save the mother’s, because you cannot choose between one human life and another.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Anna Kournikova’s Yellow Bikini Surprise

In keeping with this new year’s wealth of celebrity beach pics, I, Magnifico, present the lovely Anna Kournikova looking for buried treasure in her bikini bottoms. These pictures have been enhanced from the darker originals, just for your viewing pleasure.

Yes, you can see Anna kournikova’s Bush.

Update: Due to the popularity of this post, our hosting has had an aneurysm. We hope to get the gallery back up soon.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Anna Kournikova's Yellow Bikini Surprise

In keeping with this new year’s wealth of celebrity beach pics, I, Magnifico, present the lovely Anna Kournikova looking for buried treasure in her bikini bottoms. These pictures have been enhanced from the darker originals, just for your viewing pleasure.

Yes, you can see Anna kournikova’s Bush.

Update: Due to the popularity of this post, our hosting has had an aneurysm. We hope to get the gallery back up soon.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted