I'll Make You Famous…

Archive for the Death Watch Category




Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Back for the Day of the Day

I’d like to take a minute to laugh at other people’s misfortune….

her latest movie will not be released to cinemas. Labor Pains will premiere on cable TV in America in July before going straight to DVD in August. In the film, Lohan plays a woman who fakes pregnancy in a bid to keep her job. The actress has completed just one movie since her 2007 flop I Know Who Killed Me, and recently lost out on the lead role in director Tim Burton’s forthcoming remake of Alice In Wonderland.

If you read the synopsis of this movie, you’ll realize why this shit is going straight to DVD, it’s so fucking stupid, I am offended it was made in the first place.

Laughing at Lohan’s misfortunes isn’t like laughing at some retard on life support falling down a flight of stairs, you know, because she’s already won the fucking lottery and has made more money that she ever deserved, and if she’s going broke, good, she deserves it, because she’s a fucking mental case spoiled brat who doesn’t know what she had and the opportunities that were given to her because she’s all self righteous and shit.

The biggest joke is that I hear she’s trying to become a full time model, you know because the work is easy and comes natural, meanwhile she’s 5 foot 2 in heels and looks like a wrecked 40 year old dying of breast cancer.

She’s also trying to partner up with Sean Penn, Seth Rogan and whoever else will listen to her to try to get her career going because the media and obsessed fans have been negative about her and have perpetuated rumors about her and her personal and professional life that made her unhirable.

So I guess when she realizes she’s fucking useless and it’s over, we can all expect a lawyer’s letter, because she’s gonna sue the fuckin’ world for making her famous, then taking it away from her or some shit.

Either way, the whole thing is pretty fucking funny.

Posted in:Death Watch|Lindsay Lohan




Lindsay Lohan Death Watch of the Day

The Lindsay Lohan Deathwatch isn’t going so well because she’s still alive. Sure she’s at a club drinking “red bull” and maybe that shit, coupled with the blow, will jack her weakened heart into some kind of cardiac arrest that leaves her foaming from the mouth in the DJ booth while Sam Ronson drops some greatest hits from today and yesterday like she was some kind of adult contemporary radio station, but Lohan’s smiling in these pics, and smiles are not condusive to someone shitting their eyeballs out of them and leaving a bloody Ebola mess all over the bathroom floor, you know someone on the verge of death. Smiles mean happiness and happiness does not mean impending death. We’ll keep waiting…

Posted in:Death Watch|Lindsay Lohan