I will never understand Eva Longoria’s fame, but it turns out she’s really fucking famous on an international level. I remember meeting some dude at a bar who went nuts on me when I was talking about Eva Longoria, as I do, all the time, after he told me she was making some kind of appearance or speech….to which I said “who the fuck cares about that Mexican bitch”…she was on one TV show…that’s it…and it wasn’t even a good TV show…

It makes no sense…I know what you’re thinking, the guy who freaked on me was a gay Hispanic guy….but not even, he was some Irish straight dude drinking beer…who was very into Eva Longoria…

She’s not even hot, I mean hot for a 40 year old Mexican, they normally have 18 kids and a tortilla body….with no neck….but this one, thanks to being Hollywood, and the kind of white girl first generation Mexican, who hires Mexicans…to be her slaves just to prove how non-mexican she is in her primarily white Texas highschool that has turned into her life…

She’s rich, she fucks rich, she does fake charity work…and she wears bikinis like a middle age woman who doesn’t want to size up to admit she’s thicker…but prefers her fat spilling over the string bikini…that should be spanx shorts…

I’m not a fan. Maybe I’m racist..even though my name is Jesus Martinez…I just think this girl is full of shit, even in her bikini on some trashy hooker Pussycat Doll Fitness retreat…

I like the Estrogen patches….so feminine…

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Eva Longoria’s ass has had a lot of black dick in it…and here it is being held together with a high spandex count pair of pants…

She’s also Mexican, first generation, so that means she’s more an American Princess, more white and obnoxious and even racist than most white people….

You know the kind of Mexican who doesn’t make her own corn tortillas, but who finds it fun to wear a sombrero on Cinco de Mayo….

Straight from Texas to LA…..and for some reason…the world fucking loves her…

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I like the attempted crotch shot…but dude’s holding the iphone wrong..idiot….We live in a world where the paparazzi are really just tipped off by these self involved celebrities who want to draw attention to themselves…

Unless the celebrity is leaving the hot spot, the hot club, or is working with the paparazzi as part of their promotional campaign, promoting themselves…the paparazzi doesn’t really get these kinds of up close and personal pictures…

So Eva Longoria, who I guess is playing it “I won’t let these camera people ruin my life, I am going to do what I want, like rub my bikini clad vagina on my boyfriend while tonging him..because this is my vacation”….even though it’s more of a “Hey look at me make out with my boyfriend, I hope it gets the cover of the tabloids, I need the press”…

It’s all lies, but I guess so is Eva Longoria’s first generation Mexican, but thinks she’s white, thanks to parents throwing her into Texan suburbia…detaching her from their cultural roots…in a no taco for you…save your taco for white man producer because they’ll need a white, accessible mexican to type cast…fascinating…stuff…

Oh – what a coincidence…she’s in InStyle Magazine….Exactly my point..she’s a s elf promoting cunt…we’re onto her…this making out is her version of a sex tape that won’t destroy her.

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Eva Longoria is insanely famous internationally…I have no idea why…

She’s not so famous on instagram, I know nobodies, who weren’t on a TV show or married to a black athlete…who have more of an audience….

Which makes me ask the question of who is actually more important in the world, the instagram girl, or the whore who fucked the right producer to get on TV, because they whore who fucked the right producer to get on TV has money and budget to be the biggest thing on instagran, while these instagram hookers do it grass roots, from the ground up, in a little DIY…

Sure they don’t get the same pay for campaigns, or jobs, but not everyhting is money, somtimes what is important for your self esteem is likes..

That said, here’s Eva’s boxy body, black dudes love, in slow motion in a bkkini while I go look for random girls tanning in bikinis, which in a landlocked city with no beach…is hard…even though it’s full of french strippers…who I guess are probably still asleep from all the full contact lap dancing…right…

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Eva Longoria was in a bikini…and it reminded me that Eva Longoria exists..you know 30 something Mexicans who don’t look like they are 300 lbs corn tortilla addicts are an genetic glitch, some scientific advancement, or maybe it is that Eva Longoria, first generation America, over compensates as an Americam, and shits on Mexican culture, until she is asked to make statements about Mexican americans, like some kind of Figurehead or leader of a movement she knows nothing about, because she’s a fucking princess, who hires Mexicans to clean her fucking mansion…and even makes shews about the shit…

She’s so famous internationally, people fucking love her, except maybe the Jews, since she compared Trump to Hitler, and jews don’t like that, unless they are casting their next producion, in which case they don’t care, becasue Longoria fills seats…something that amazes me more than her average body…

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Here’s some typical Mexican behavior…you know just not following the rules…because she may or may not know how to read in English, but I assume she does, because she’s the whitest fucking Mexican, the kind with a Mexican staff to shit on, and make herself feel accomplished and less like a first Generation…expect when she’s needed to make a quote on Mexican rights, like calling Donald Trump Hitler, something that I am sure Jewish people would take offense to, but more importantly, that she’s got no business commenting on, as she’s so disconnected from anything Mexican, you know being a hollywood slut, that it’s just her PR play to remind you she exists…

Rember, you can never trust someone who dives in a no dive zone…No dive zone..

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