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Archive for the Eva Longoria Category

2017

20

Sep

Eva Longoria Old and Slutty in Some Magazine Bullshit of the Day

Eva Longoria with her ass out

As a half mexican on the internet, I have a fucking deep love for all things Mexico an Mexican…from the food, to the women, to Mexico City as a whole…so seeing the Earthquake basically turning some areas into devastation and a warzone..collapsed buildings and death and destruction is a bummer…but even more of a bummer knowing that Eva Longoria wasn’t in Mexico trying to learn how to leverage being a Mexican to land more work….like the exploitative cunt she is.

Sure, she is technically ninth generation Mexican-American, and it’s a good marketing hook, but girl is so whitewashed, raised like a spoiled white brat, turned Hollywood and forgot she was Mexican unless it came in handy as she struggled to communicate with her maid and garderner she underpays…because her life was about fitting in in Texas and not feeling like the immigrant her parents were…you know spoiled and out of touch like 8 generations of Mexican-Americans before her…

So while I like and love all things Mexican, Eva Longoria isn’t one of them, for a reason I relate best with a story of a black friend of mine LITERALLY turning his chair around at the strip club whenever a black stripper came on stage, because he felt she was giving up on her people, she wasn’t fighting to progress as a person, she was being a cliche and thus she fucking sucked and he couldn’t stomach her…

That’s how I feel about this mid 40s chick from one TV show…doing her best Kim Kardashian impression now that she’s been married to a black dude…and is thick / fat…when did fat become thick…like thick isn’t fat…and thick is good but fat is bad…I don’t know..but I know this non-Mexican Mexican is a fucking scam….

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2017

08

Aug

Eva Longoria ANUS of the Day

The highlight of skimpy bikini bottoms the girls, or in this case the old washed up women are wearing, is that when they bend over, you can see the ring around their asshole, the shit stain, or darker rim thanks to not anal bleaching, that like most assholes is bigger than the girl realizes, because she probably doesn’t spend the day looking at her asshole..and never have I been asked by a woman “can you see my anus in this”…but sometimes, if you’re lucky, you can…

This is the ANUS pic I was looking for yesterday. It Happened.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2017

25

Jul

Eva Longoria Action Shot of the Day

Eva Longoria may be one of those white bread first generation kids who forgets that her family crawled over walls and through tunnels to give her the great suburban life that allowed her to have the arrogance and confidence to become “an actor” which is hardly a real job, but some kind of joke spoiled brats take on to pretend they are more important than they are, so that they don’t have to get a real job, like people who understand the value of a dollar and who don’t have a dad to finance their LA experience while auditioning as Mexican roles…..

But she still knows how to swim like she’s jumping off a raft across the Rio Grande…just look at this dive, this form, off her overpriced yacht…like a swan…and angel…undetectable by radar and other border patrol on boat..it’s the one things she’s retained in her cushy, bratty, experience..

To SEE THE REST OF thE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2017

24

May

Big Girl vs Big Girl the Charlize Theron / Eva Longoria Edition of the Day

Here’s a little, or should I say big, contest of who do you think would win in a Wrestling match….big girl Charlize Theron who has grown into her tall model frame, or little Mexican luchador, who for that longest time pretended she wasn’t Mexican due to being ashamed of being Mexican…unless it got her jobs….Eva Longoria…

Both cultures are gnarly at best, South Africa the white people who destroyed the native black people…and Mexican who you’ve seen the drug cartels and know what they are capable of…..so it’s a toss up….

Both girls much bigger than their old self, maybe menopause, but Theron is darker, she’s got the taste of blood, her mom killed her dad…which is on another level…where as Eva Longoria grew up in Texas and just likes eating BBQ like Jessica Simpson…

I figure who cares since they aren’t actually wrestling, but it’s still amazing to see how thick a bitch can get when told being thick is ok…this would have never happened 20 years ago…

OR

TO SEE Eva Longoria – THICK
CLICK HERE

TO SEE Charlize Theron – THICK
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Eva Longoria|SFW

2017

20

Apr

Eva Longoria Bathing Suit of the Day

I have always hated Eva Longoria. No, not because she married a big black guy a while ago, I’m not a racist, but because everyone loves her and thinks she’s wonderful and this great contribution to society…but I see a self hating Mexican, who identifies with being Mexican when it’s good for business…but not when she’s hiring Mexicans to be her slave…

But it’s nice to see that despite her efforts, she’s slowly becoming an actual Mexican, because she is a Mexican, rounding out all middle aged, looking like she’s been working at the taco shop making the toritillas…

I figure…good choice in the one piece big a burly satan woman.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2017

15

Mar

Eva Longoria in Swimsuits of the Day

People love Eva Longoria….she’s an international star, maybe because she’s not white and the Mexicans and Spanish speaking people find her sincere and exciting in her charity work and Desperate Housewives shit she still leverages…

But she always came across as bullshit to me. I didn’t find her all that hot. I felt she was a pawn in some ABC primetime drama and I was convinced she was a fair weather mexican, you know the kind of first generation immigrant who was raised so white and spoiled so hard, that she thought she was white and was humiliated by her accented parents. The kind of Mexican who would vote for Trump because he represents the American dream they see in the movies. Who would hire Mexican illegals to do her gardening and housecleaning and who would eat Americanized Mexican food…just to fit in….except when it came to the casting couch…where bitch was Mexican as fuck to get the job….

But here she is trying on bathing suits regardless..and she’s not all that bad for an old Mexican…I mean I wish that’s what the Mexicans at the Mexican restaurants I go to looked like…instead they are fat and neckless…

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Eva Longoria Can’t Escape Being Mexican of the Day

LONGORIA-2

Eva Longoria always came across as bullshit to me. I didn’t find her all that hot. I was convinced she was a fair weather mexican, you know the kind of first generation immigrant who was raised so white and spoiled so hard, that she thought she was white and was humilated by her accented parents. The kind of Mexican who would vote for Trump because he represents the American dream they see in the movies. Who would hire Mexican illegals to do her gardening and housecleaning and who would eat Americanized Mexican food…just to fit in….except when it came to the casting couch…where bitch was Mexican as fuck to get the job….

But as much as she denies her Mexican roots, her body…can’t fight it’s Corn Tortilla destiny….

Girl is thick…I bed her black basketball husband who dumped her when she was fit would love this new, short legged, thick version of her…

But I don’t…

Those hips should lie…but I guess it’s hard when you’re in leggings two sizes too small..and you’re 30 pounds fatter than you were two years ago…but not in your tits…because MEXICO!

This is one woman’s march…that shoulda stayed off camera….back home…on the couch…eating cake or whatever we’re witnessing….

I mean…unless this isn’t fat and she’s just got into body building….heavy squatting, dead lifting, ready to Mexican wrestle…

Whatever it is…..it’s not very hot…

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Eva Longoria’s Downward Pointing Nipples of the Day

Eva_Longoria_in_bikini_and_her_husband_spending_their_last_day_on_the_beach_in_Ibiza_-_July_21-2016_000

Eva Longoria looks like shit…she’s old, she’s sloppy, but I guess she’s tighter bodied than the Mexicans she hires with their 6 babies as Mexicans do, because she’s got the genetics to be built like a Mexican but she tries so hard to not be a Mexican, she’s a cunt like that…I mean unless when it’s time for her to use it to her advantage like it was Sofia Vergara’s accent..you know that bitch can speak perfect english…

That said, on an international level, Eva Longoria is HUGE. People are fucking obsessed with her, they think she’s some philanthropist or superstar, it’s like the David Hasselhoff effect where no one in AMerica gives a fuck about the motherfucker, but the rest of the world just latched on and love that person…

Not that that matters, or her and yet another man / husband / it’s not her first…in her bikini looking dumpy and it’s not just me saying that…it’s her nipples…blame the nipples..stare at the vag.

Eva_Longoria_in_bikini_and_her_husband_spending_their_last_day_on_the_beach_in_Ibiza_-_July_21-2016_005

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2015

24

Nov

Eva Longoria’s in a Bikini of the Day

Eva-Longoria-Beach-1

People fucking love Eva Longoria. On more than one occasion in my life, I have been at an event that Eva Longoria was speaking at, because I guess she’s fucking everywhere, and everyone there, who I guess were a captive audience, who left their house to see Eva Longoria, were freaking the fuck out she was there…and when I said that she was the worst, and that her book tour was just a scam, manipulating mexicans by her representing them as some kind of idol…who made it….they went nuts and listed all her philanthropic work..

While I’m there saying “she’s the kind of Mexican who hires Mexicans and underpays Mexicans because despite being a first generation Mexican, the family spoiled her like she was white, so that she would fit in amongst the texan racists, and racism is learned, so in being a racist, she too looks down on the very Mexicans who idolize her”….went over well…

Well, she’s at a bridal shower, or bachelorette party, getting all wild and crazy in her bikini, looking better than most Mexicans who work your local taco bell or hotel as a chamber maid…and despite being old, thicker, damaged from her 7 foot black basketball playing ex husband…you’d still fuck her…because you’re addicted to her fame, her power, the fact she’s in a bikini…

Livin’ the dream.

Eva-Longoria-Bikin-1

Eva-Longoria-Bikin-4

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Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2015

13

Oct

Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day

EVA BIKINI LONGORIA - WHORIA

I will never understand Eva Longoria’s fame, but it turns out she’s really fucking famous on an international level. I remember meeting some dude at a bar who went nuts on me when I was talking about Eva Longoria, as I do, all the time, after he told me she was making some kind of appearance or speech….to which I said “who the fuck cares about that Mexican bitch”…she was on one TV show…that’s it…and it wasn’t even a good TV show…

It makes no sense…I know what you’re thinking, the guy who freaked on me was a gay Hispanic guy….but not even, he was some Irish straight dude drinking beer…who was very into Eva Longoria…

She’s not even hot, I mean hot for a 40 year old Mexican, they normally have 18 kids and a tortilla body….with no neck….but this one, thanks to being Hollywood, and the kind of white girl first generation Mexican, who hires Mexicans…to be her slaves just to prove how non-mexican she is in her primarily white Texas highschool that has turned into her life…

She’s rich, she fucks rich, she does fake charity work…and she wears bikinis like a middle age woman who doesn’t want to size up to admit she’s thicker…but prefers her fat spilling over the string bikini…that should be spanx shorts…

I’m not a fan. Maybe I’m racist..even though my name is Jesus Martinez…I just think this girl is full of shit, even in her bikini on some trashy hooker Pussycat Doll Fitness retreat…

I like the Estrogen patches….so feminine…

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW