Eva Longoria seems to have re-worked her ass.

I’m not saying that in a good way, like “CHECK OUT THE GRANNY ASS LOOKING PERKIER THAN IT SHOULD”….this is not a hyping it up kind of situation.

It’s more like a paint job on an old car, that still smells like mold, water damage, mothballs and rat shit….but looks like shitty than it probably should based on the smells…

It’s an asshole behind thong attempt, but she likely bleaches her asshole, or had it removed, because she was tired of having it fucked by producers who helped make her the empire that is Eva Longoria.

I used to hate on her for being a self hating Mexican, the kind who hires Mexicans to bully them….

But then I watched the Housewives show and think she’s wonderful, even in her old age…with her vanity project that is whatever she’s doing to her mom body through fitness, peptides, medication, cosmetic procedures, etc.

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Eva Longoria is old as shit, but the benefit of being old as shit is that she can wear a white bikini without fear of getting her period.

Don’t get me wrong, the white bikini is still a brave fashion choice, there’s all kinds of discharge of varying colors that can leak out of her vagina, then there’s the whole asshole…which you can see a glimpse of in her ASSHOLE BEHIND THONG…that’s more of an asshole behind full back bikini jacked up her ass for the paparazzi…because old people have less ass control and more digestive issues.

So she is brave!

The tragedy in this is that she’s in France and wearing a bikini top, when she should have her titties out based on their culture, which she is appropriating thanks to making babies with guys from France…

Her ass is most likely a product of injections, surgeries and vanity, since she’s old as shit, but it could be a fitness ass too.

We’ll never know, but we can always spend our days trying to figure it out by staring at it.

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Eva Longoria is bringing some hope to all the old folks employees that one day soon, all the ladies they are changing diapers on will look like muppet porn chicks…

There will be a time when the old ladies in the old folks home look like an instagram filter with some weirdly shaped body created by the fat transfers and weirdness that comes with that….

So as Longoria fakes the system on the social media machine, she brings hope to a whole industry that fucking the old demented bag of brittle bones and skin will finally be hot…

AND THAT MEANS SOMETHING…

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I used to hate on Eva Longoria, then I watched Desperate Housewives last fall and I decided that like the rest of the world, I kind of love Eva Longoria, at least when she wasn’t quite 30 on TV….

I never really understood all the hype she got and I couldn’t really see past the fact that she was exploiting her Mexican heritage that she didn’t even really embrace until she saw it as a marketing hook to monetize…

She always seemed like the kind of Mexican who hires Mexicans to do her shitty yard work and housekeeping, only to feel like she’s more important than them, since she’s famous and paying them. You know, not really into the plight of the Mexicans…

Not that I care, I mean modern slavery isn’t the end of the fucking world….and either is being old as shit….

Because Longoria is old as shit and looks old as shit, but she’s fighting it as hard as she can, trying to be hot, fit and putting in the work or the medical procedures…

She was in the gym showing off her old mom ass…and I’m fine with looking at it…I am just confused as to why her gym is in her garage like an aspiring fitness influencer from the suburbs when she’s rich as shit and could built a compound for that….

She’s prepping for bouncing on powerful movie producer dick in Cannes, at least that’s what her text overlay says.

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I am coming off a 6 month Desperate Housewives binge on Disney Plus, I generally hate movies and TV, celebrities and all that bullshit but sometimes they suck me in.

I finished the last episode last night.

In the 6 month binge of what I would argue is far better written TV than anything being produced today, we’re talking 24 episodes a year for 8 years, I developed an understanding of Eva Longoria’s success. She was a hot tight bodied and entertaining character on the show.

For the last 20 years of this site, I’ve just blindly hated on Longoria for being a bad Mexican, who exploited being Mexican, to push her career, despite being barely Mexican.

As it turns out, she is probably that, but now that I’ve read her WIKI, I’ve learned that her family are native Mexicans who rolled over with Texas when Texas was taken over by the USA, so she’s not some first gen being spoiled and told to be as American as she could be, she’s just culturally Mexican, which is probably why she was hired by racist Hollywood

The difference is that she committed to her Mexican culture 5 or 6 years into Desperate Housewives, so long after she made it.

Knowing that she had a responsibility to take as many Mexican roles as possible, in a time when the internet was getting more popular and haters louder and some even getting heard.

If they discounted her as someone cosplaying being a Mexican, it could ruin her, so in 2009 she learned Spanish, in 2013, she got her Master’s Degree in Mexican studies, since she was educated and not some found working in a Motel’s Housekeeping, so now she’s more Mexican than actual Mexicans…so Mexican, she apparently left the USA to live in Mexico, even though this gym content is from her LA mansion because she’s enterprising.

She’s in her 50s, which is old and dried up, but she’s doing plastic surgery treatments to stay hot.

Whether you like it or not depends on how weird you are, but if you’re into jerking off to ABC family television, her Desperate Housewives lingerie content is pretty fit, more fit that this slophole….but that’s just the female rot.

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I guess Jimmy Kimmel isn’t the only pervert who likes to watch girls on trampolines in slow motion, because Eva Longoria is out here producing Trampoline clickbait for the perverts who are into that kind of thing….

You have to wonder if they are just into it because they are Longoria fans, or if they are trampoline fans, we need a VENN DIAGRAM of this shit…

The sad thing in all this is that I recently started watching the Housewives show that made Longoria….

I have been a Longoria hater for decades at this point….

But now I fucking love her, and watching her age out and rot….grave digger necrophilia shit is still speaking to my new love for Longoria…

I guess nothing in life is finite, you never where the boner will take you..

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It’s Flashback Friday….

Is anyone else on season 3 of Desperate Housewives after randomly deciding to give that show a shot?

If you are, you’ll have the late to the game understanding that I recently just understood, that Eva Longoria was a serious fucking babe.

Throughout the series, she’s a sex obsessed, money grubbing, sugar baby, who was once a runway model….the shortest runway model in the history of runway models.

She fucks the gardener consistently, she fucks her husband, she runs around half naked in her underwear….and it allows me to finally grasp her celebrity, her fame, her appeal, and why she’s an international sensation.

Sure, Nicolette Sheridan is the hotter pussy on the show, if you’re a racist into aryans over the Mexicans….

Sure, Eva Longoria as a person seems awful….like a self hating Mexican….who hires Mexicans so that she can feel above them….but that’s just a feeling I get when I look at her….

But 2007 Eva Longoria with her tits out…NOT BAD AT ALL…

I’d eat from her TACO stand ALL DAY.

I’d even eat her Burrito….

Which isn’t saying much.

BUT IT IS SAYING SOMETHING.

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Eva Longoria did a little subtle titty show on the beach, but thanks to cropping, we were able to fixate on what is important in the titty show, which is the tits.

She was pretending it was just a day on the beach with one of her sons from one of her many marriages….

But really it was some Hot Titty mom in her 50s showing off her titties on the beach because she’s worked too hard, or paid too much for the old lady body she’s got.

It’s unnatural to be hot at 60, but these bitches are trying to normalize us into thinking that it’s natural to be hot at 60…

Serious rich person work has gone into this look, but ultimately, titties are timeless and I’ll stare at a granny tit as hard as I’d stare at a 20 year old’s tit….because I guess my mom didn’t breast feed me as a child and I’m just titty obsessed.

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Someone ask the AI what percentage of this ass is real.

I have a feeling some sophisticated BBL technology was used in the making of this old lady mom ass.

That’s not to say the ass is amazing because I assume it’s a BBL…

The majority of the worst asses I’ve seen have been BBLs…

It’s not a compliment….

I have a friend in Florida who wrote me about how angry he is at the THONG bikini…

He’s like EVERYONE is wearing the THONG bikini and it’s disturbing.

Fat and skinny, old and young, it makes the THONG bikini a negative thing in his mind…

I am more of a THONG fetishists than not, so I’ll take the good and take the bad that THONG bikini brings…

BUT I KNOW a bad THONG bikini when I see one….

HERE’s old lady mom ass Longoria….

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Eva Longoria is a rich Mexican woman and in the event you don’t spend a lot of time around Mexican women in their 60s, you probably aren’t aware that they love to get a solid BBL. You know a bit of a fat transfer from gunt to ass, or gunt to tits, leaving a mess of scars where the gunt once was, which they hope get hidden amongst the loose mom who is aging skin, wrinkles and stretch marks…while giving the illusion of still being fit or hot, mainly when clothed and you don’t have to see the evidence of the work they’ve had done….

It’s a superficial society, especially for these old ladies who made it relying on their looks in the 90s….and we just have to jerk off to it because it’s what we are given to jerk off to…

From someone who both hates old ladies on a sexual level, but doesn’t mind them for baked good and knitted items at the church bazaar and the general muppet look that these young social media girls are doing to themselves…when you merge the old lady and the muppet look, it’s better than jerking off or wanting to fuck an actual traditional or classical old lady in her 60s…

The world is fake, I’ll buy into this illusion, because it’s effort to make her less gross while still being gross….but not as gross if she just committed to natural rot….

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