I'll Make You Famous…

Archive for the Fabio Category




Fabio Still Gets Pussy of the Day

Fabio the Romance Novel Model is still around and girls still get excited when they see him, so if you are a long haired, tanned European who likes working out, let this be hope that you don’t need much more than that to make a lasting career as a guy girls want to fuck and that shit will carry you well into your 50s.

Sure, maybe these sluts just went to LA and were hoping to get a picture of themselves with someone, anyone famous to bring back to their family and friends on Facebook, and took what they could get in some act of desperation, but I pretty sure his level of talentless career’s success is enough to get laid multiple times a day by different girls, because girls are fame whores even if the fame is embarrassing like the dude I knew who wore a clown costume and handed out samples of toilet paper at the wholesale store who claims women would go nuts for him because he was the highlight of their menial shopping experience and would constantly invite him back to their mini-vans to fuck or suck him off. He claimed they liked him because he was the star of the store, I like to think it had to do with them hating their lives, and that last act was a nail in the coffin of their happiness, but who really knows. I know I don’t.

Either way, I wonder if Fabio got to Harlequin Novel all over these girls faces and I wonder how their boyfriends are going to like their new found egos now that the paparazzi has snapped off some pics of them and they’ve had their embarrassing 5 minutes of fame. I guess I will never know.

Posted in:Fabio|Pussy




The Paparazzi Dis Fabio of the Day

The paparazzi dissed Fabio by saying something along the lines of “hey, you still have fans”, in some passive aggressive asshole attempt to call him done did.

I think the paparazzi are just bitter that they spend their days chasing the dude who made enough money to have a Ferrari for being the topless dude on drugstore romance novel covers and the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” spokesperson, 10 years after the fact, and despite how fun that sounds, it’s a hell of a lot more useless of an existance than being the dude who cashed out for having long hair and a ripped body who gets to spend his days “having fun” and “going to the gym”. That’s like this alcoholic friend of mine who never wanted to get off his ass to do anything, but always wanted to make his life seem worth living by lining up menial tasks, he’d call me and ask if I wanted to run errands with him. One day, it would be to go to the post office to buy a stamp, another day was to buy a pen and he always managed to find one thing he felt needed to get done, only instead of driving a Ferrari, he took the bus, and instead of being Fabio, he was fat and girls wouldn’t masturbate for him, even if he paid them.

What it comes down to is that I am even more bitter than they are because I’m the asshole writing about Fabio and the Paparazzi and that’s pretty fucking weak, but not as weak as my heart that I think is about to explode from smoking this cigar on an empty stomach.

Posted in:Complex|Fabio