There’s a crazy billionaire divorce case going on in Canada that I read about in the paper while drinking a free coffee down the street from me. They aren’t revealing the person’s name because it is the law, but I figured I should.

The South American woman he had kids with is asking for more 50,000,000 dollars and 56,000 dollars a month for child support, because he is a billionaire and knocked her up, brought her out of her ghetto live and opened her up to a life traveling the world, doing lots of cocaine and living in fucking luxury. I was trying to figure out who they were talking about, then when I read the bitch was a model, I realized it is Guy Laliberte, the founder of Cirque du Soliel.

Now I know this because I knew a guy who used to fuck her in his mansion and in his indoor pool on the side when he was around the world setting up his circus. They used to have parties with thousands of people every June, that I was never invited to, but that people I know went to, and not only did he give each guest 100 dollar voucher to get a cab home, but he also had every single drug readily available, I’m talking piles of cocaine, bowls of pills and weed on the tables set around the party, not to mention it was open bar.

I am just posting this, because I feel like I broke a story no one cares about and that makes me feel good about myself, probably a lot better than he does now that his plan to no marry her still fucked him up the ass, not to mention she’s going to be taking him to court in Brazil, where the law may make him give her half his billion dollar fortune.

It’s times like these I wasn’t a brazilian aspiring model who made my life work seducing men then fucking them for retarded amounts of money I could only dream about in my little tribal village.

Posted in:Cirque du Soleil|Divorce|Guy Laliberte