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Archive for the Divorce Category

2010

16

Apr

Larry King’s Divorce is Hilarious of the Day

Someone called me laughing about the Larry King divorce. They were telling me how at 75 he’s worth 150 million dollars and was caught buying his sister-in-law a 150,000 dollar car, and that got his wife investigating to find out that he was cheating on her, when anyone with half a brain can smell the bullshit on that story, cuz at 75 the only thing dude’s cheating on anyone with is with naps and maybe on food that’s not on his low sodium, low fat diet when no one is looking….Clearly, the reality is that bitch was getting her pussy stuffed by someone who isn’t a troll looking monster, cuz she’s been there long enough to cash the fuck in even though her original plan was for him to die off sooner than this, but she just can’t wait any longer or waste anymore of her life with him, it’s time to cash the fuck out, cuz at this rate Larry King may out live her….

They were spotted at their kid’s baseball game together yesterday….which is weird cuz I always thought you were supposed to kill your ex-wife’s off before the divorce settlement…

Here are some pictures of the guy she’s been reportedly banging….which makes perfect sense to me….cuz all these old rich man marrying cunts pull pussy on the side….cuz fucking 75 years olds, although hot to some, eventually gets you depressed no matter how much you’re whore cunt is getting paid…and dude’s clearly loving the attention…

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Divorce|Larry King

2009

30

Jul

Avril Lavigne is on a Boat with A Mystery Man Cuz She’s a Cheating Whore of the Day

Why’d she have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way she’s acting like somebody else gets me frustrated. What happened to the wholesome little suburban mall punk who married her suburban mall punk boyfriend who she met at the mall skateboard shop where they would buy Vans sneakers and punk accessories. Oh right, she grew the fuck up, got a little perspective and realized the faggot she married was wearing 3 inch high platform creepers wasn’t 15 anymore…

Here she is in St Tropez pampering herself up on the way to a yacht where she’e meeting some mysterious, rich, tall, dark haired man who dresses like an adult and the whole thing is so excited, I just wish I was there to see Sum 41’s face when they find out about this, shit’s gonna inspire a poorly written pop/punk song for sure. I just hope they stay together for the sake of the kids….

And just a little words of wisdom for the suburban mall punks who read this site….If you meet another suburban mall punk from the same state as you, maybe even the same neighborhood as you, who has the same job as you and may like the same music as you and attend all the same events as you, it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to marry the motherfucker….

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Cheater|Divorce

2009

23

Jan

The Owner of Cirque Du Soleil Is Getting Fucked By a Brazilian Slut of the Day

There’s a crazy billionaire divorce case going on in Canada that I read about in the paper while drinking a free coffee down the street from me. They aren’t revealing the person’s name because it is the law, but I figured I should.

The South American woman he had kids with is asking for more 50,000,000 dollars and 56,000 dollars a month for child support, because he is a billionaire and knocked her up, brought her out of her ghetto live and opened her up to a life traveling the world, doing lots of cocaine and living in fucking luxury. I was trying to figure out who they were talking about, then when I read the bitch was a model, I realized it is Guy Laliberte, the founder of Cirque du Soliel.

Now I know this because I knew a guy who used to fuck her in his mansion and in his indoor pool on the side when he was around the world setting up his circus. They used to have parties with thousands of people every June, that I was never invited to, but that people I know went to, and not only did he give each guest 100 dollar voucher to get a cab home, but he also had every single drug readily available, I’m talking piles of cocaine, bowls of pills and weed on the tables set around the party, not to mention it was open bar.

I am just posting this, because I feel like I broke a story no one cares about and that makes me feel good about myself, probably a lot better than he does now that his plan to no marry her still fucked him up the ass, not to mention she’s going to be taking him to court in Brazil, where the law may make him give her half his billion dollar fortune.

It’s times like these I wasn’t a brazilian aspiring model who made my life work seducing men then fucking them for retarded amounts of money I could only dream about in my little tribal village.


Here’s the article on the story….
GO

Posted in:Cirque du Soleil|Divorce|Guy Laliberte

2008

19

Feb

Carey Hart Celebrates Divorce with Pink of the Day

The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Pink and Carey Hart are officially getting a divorce. Based on this picture that was sent to me, Carey Hart is pretty hurt by it. I guess it is because Carey has decided to denounce his homosexuality, because as far as I’m concerned Pink’s no lesbian, she’s a man.
Either way, this is what her publicist had to say:

“Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another, while the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger.”

I guess annoucing that Carey was just going through a weird experimental phase and has decided to go back to real vagina instead of the man-pussy he married wouldn’t be good for her career, since some people still think she’s a hot piece of ass and those people are the same kind of people who ask their wives and girlfriends to find their p-spot.

I guess you can’t be too bitter when your man realizes you’re a man and they aren’t down with that after years of deception or whatever the fuck else Pink did to trick dude on their first date to fuck her.

This is a lot like the time I was outside my building and my neighbor came home with a Tranny. I pulled him aside and told him that bitch was a man and he told me I was crazy. The next day, I got a knock on my door and he said “bitch was a man, you were right” and I asked what he did, thinking he beat her up and kicked her out for trickin’ her and he told me he fucked her. because he was in too deep and that they were going out again that night, because since he already did it once, he’s already got over the stigma of having sex with a tranny. If you know what I mean, which you do, because you felt the same way the first time you masturbated after years of convincing yourself it was the Devil’s Sport, until doing it and never stopping…seriously, it’s making me uncomfortable….

Posted in:Carey Hart|Divorce|Pink