Katie Lohman is some kind of actress and I don’t know whether she has been in Playboy but I assume that’s the next step for her because it looks like up until this point, her biggest movie role was in a National Lampoon straight to video movie called Dorm Daze. I just read her bio and the biggest mistake of her career was that her mother didn’t let her join the Mickey Mouse Club show that she got casted for because her mother thought it would be more important to get a shitty high school education at a public school instead of one by the very same tutors who made Britney Spears the academic that she is. The reality is that she would have been lined up with Timberlake, Aguilera and all the other Mickey Mouse club trash with a lot of money, instead of struggling for attention in a bikini at some charity event last week. I guess who really cares, but it’s one of those opportunities Eminem told me about in the movie 8 mile and I guess a desperate girl is a lot more appealing than an established one, like just the other day I got to talking to some hot slut who just had her phone and purse stolen and was crying and she hugged me in her moment of despair and as her firm tits pressed against me, I realized that I could have totally banged her, so next week’s goal is to try to steal as many purses as fucking possible from as many hot chicks as possible only to move in on them like the shark that I wish I was. Next week’s reality is that I will be here sitting on the shit smelling couch like I always do, but I think it’s nice to dream sometimes.

Posted in:Bikini|Charity|Katie Lohman