Maui Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Maui Category

2007

Jul

I am – More of Paris Hilton in a Bathing Suit in Maui of the Day

I came across these pictures of Paris in a bathing suit in Maui and figured I should post them since celebrity in bikinis is 90 percent of what I do. I don’t consider Paris to be a real celebrity, I don’t think she’s got anything interesting going on, I don’t really understand the reason everyone is so interested in her, but she’s on the beach and that’s more than I can say for you, so that is why she gets coverage on this shitty site. Reality is that I am pretty easy to please and half naked is all I really ever need for a post, so I don’t mind making your famous, if you’re willing to take it off.

I was reading an article on MSN about how to seduce billionaires to marry you. I am exploring new business options because the internet isn’t doin it for me and there’s gotta be some black sheep fat retarded daughter of a rich dude that they keep locked up in the basement who is lonely enough for someone like me. I don’t know where the article is but it lead me to all these different high society sites. I didn’t realize that people actually care about the family and kids and wives of these extremely rich dudes. I always thought their lives were boring with all that keeping up appearances, going to art gallery exhibits and donating time and money to charity. There are probably scandals that would be more interesting than the shit Paris gets into and there are probably nude pics, sex tapes and other exciting scandals filling up their guest houses, but I’ll never see them because I have no idea who any of these high society people are.

I need Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood to let me know who to watch out for and not all these rich kids aren’t into the whole L.A. Fame Game.

I did harass a couple of them on Facebook a while ago. One of them was the daughter of some record exec and another one was the daughter of some other big company. It turns out that they have no sense of humor and either do I, that’s why this post fucking sucks. It happens. It’s Monday. I hate you.

I guess it’s nice to see Paris back on all fours and half naked as she rides her surfboard, because it reminds us that Jail can’t change a person, except for maybe giving someone more publicity than they have seen since the release of a sex tape.

2007

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton Bikini in Hawaii Pictures of the Day

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I ended up drunk at a house party at 5 am the other night where some doctor was feeding me gin until I couldn’t walk and I don’t remember much of the night, but I do remember talking to this one dude about how I had Stavros’ number and he was really interested in giving him a call, so he did using my phone and Stavros answers. I am convinced that this dude has a friend in Montreal because anytime I call, motherfucker answers. He talks to me about parties and where he’s off to next and all this shit like old buddies who he can’t fuckin’ place, but feel obligated to be nice and rude to ask who the fuck he is talking to. Either way, the dude I was with called Stavros and they chatted about how he is in Maui for the next month or two and then he is off to France. They were talking about shit I didn’t know or understand because I am not as worldly, but the conversation seemed to have went on for 10 minutes. When dude got off the phone he said that was probably one of the weirder conversations he had because Stavros was acting like they were buddies. So I guess he’s just a nice guy and I appreciate that he answered.

Unfortunately, I was drunk and I ended up text messaging him on my way home drunk because I was all excited about our little prank call and I wrote something to the effect of “tell Pairs I am proud of her and that she owned Larry King, but I am still pissed she never wrote me back, I guess you can never train a whore to listen” and I got no response, so maybe dude figured out what we were all about and maybe dude will never answer my calls and give me inside scoop again and it turns out that I proved yet again that if you leave something to me, I will always pretty much ruin it, especially if it’s a good thing….

That said, here are pictures of Paris in Maui, obviously visiting Stavros because they are in love or some shit, but keep it low key. People with herpes stick together, the embarrassment of telling a new partner you got damaged goods is usually the reason why, but at least Herpes is the leading cause of successful marriages in North America. I made that up but I bet it’s true.

Reality is, bitch still has a good body, and whether she’s got a fucked up face, big feet, man hands, herpes and personality disorders or not, she’s still worth a round, she will be worth 100,000,000 dollars when her dad dies and that is enough money to make me have sex with any pile of shit you throw my way because in reality I’d even do it for free, if my penis worked.