Lohan’s house was robbed, or her alarm went off, or something that involved the police showing up at her house, only to find it messy, and for some reason the media went nuts about that shit, like being a sloppy fucking slob of a girl is that big of a deal. Pretty much every girl I’ve met has been a fucking pig, they never pick up after themselves and expect me to do all the work, and I am not even talking about my wife, who doesn’t even bother washing and smells of rotting fucking pussy.

Either way, I just wanted to clear up that I wasn’t the guy who tried to break into her house, despite my unrequited love for her, because if I had broken in, I would have done it when she was home and forced her into marriage or at least into letting me jerk off on her dirty panties. True story.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Robber