The only celebrity who has ever emailed me was a voice actor who played Montgomery Moose on a show I hold close to my heart cuz I used to watch it when i was about 12. This show is how I learnt English when I moved to Texas and it’s called Get Along Gang. Here’s my stepINTERVIEW with my childhood idol, Montgomery Moose.

Do you ever say “I’m Montgomery Moose want to Touch My Antler?” to lure kids back into your caboose ?
Yes, but I traded my caboose for an ice cream truck. It’s more effective and I really love big sticks.

Do you run a porn site because you are sick of 6 year old pussy or is it because you never had a childhood like the bitch who killed herself on different strokes ?
I don’t go in for six year old pussy. I prefer older women. I spend a lot of time in nursing homes.

Did you see your father get shot like Bambi saw her mother shot, or is that just a deer thang?
Is Bambi a porn star? I’m not sure I follow you.

If you could be anyone’s vagina for a day, who would it be?
Katie Holmes. I was always a fan of Dawsons crack. Besides, Scientoligists get me hot!

When you order pizza, do people recognize your voice and realize you’re Famous ?
My personal assistant orders all my pizzas. She’s a Japanese schoolgirl named Keiko. Extra anchovies.

What should we be expecting from Montgomery Moose in the future?
A cumback.

Does Montgomery Moose go to space?
Only when he’s had too many Red Bulls. And I do mean “had” them.

Did the Get Along Gang always get along, or did you have to save face for TV?
It was one big shagfest. I still have scars from Portia Porcupines quills.

Could you show us your sex video with Paris?
Travis Barker has it in the glove compartment of his Hummer.

Be sure to Check Out Montgomery Moose’s Websites who are actually run by Donavan Freberg the Voice of Montgomery Moose.

Porn Site NonDairyCreemer GO
Rated R Site BabyBoy Freberg GO

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

Dear DJ Sam Young,

We’re going to do it like this, 10 questions all of which will be semi retarded, because let’s face it, I am not a journalist. You can answer them however you want, you don’t have to be funny, the fact that you are answering this is funny enough..

1- So what’s it like being the guy in the Lohan Pictures?

It was nice meeting LL, she has good taste in music ! Being that guy just means all the fake Lindsay’s try and add me on myspace, lol.

2- How does one become the guy in the Lohan Pictures?

Busting your balls for years DJing and good luck.

3- What does Lohan smell like?

She didnt smell of anything particular, but she was looking good.

4- So you’re a DJ, I am guessing you’ve seen your share of box…what’s the craziest thing a girl mashed out on MDMA and Cocaine did in a party you were playing at that involved her box…

Ive had my fair share of box action pussy, girls touching me up in the booth drunk and trying to kiss me to get a song etc. I dont do drugs but plenty of people have snorted in there. I actually havent had a BJ in the booth yet, that would be interesting.

5- Speaking of Vagina, if you could be any girl’s vagina for a day, who’s would it be?

I wouldnt wanna be a girls vagina thanks, I wouldnt want any cocks that near to me.

6- Are you the UK version of DJ AM?

Me and AM are different, but we do the same kind of parties. And if hes reading this, get your ass over to London.

7- Which celebrity are you going to get gastric bypass surgery for, drop 150 lbs, propose to marry and end up on her shitty reality TV show before she gets caught making out with Steve-O from Jackass, calling off the engagement and landing some Laguna Beach rich kid….leaving you broken and sad….

I dont need gastric bypass, they can get that shit for me ! And if I was dating a ‘celeb’ I wouldnt end up on her shitty show for publicity. She’d probably catch me fucking her best friend.

8- Do you think the chances of getting an STD are higher if you met the slut at a nightclub than if you meet her on the Internet?

The club whore for sure, cause if shes easily banging you shes no stranger to it. So wrap your tools.

9- I never get into clubs because I smell like urine and three year old semen as I haven’t had a boner in about 3 years. I want to know the top 5 DJs you hate and more importantly, can I be on permanent guest list to all the events you DJ?

To be on my glist I would suggest you wash and cut your pubes. I dont wanna mention my top 5 worse DJ’s as I dont wanna give them any free publicity ! Haha.

10- Since you’ve been so cool to us, feel free to write about whatever you are promoting here…and can you dance?

No worries, I have just set up my online record label Nod Factor which is being distributed by JUNO online.
Label will be launching soon, if you know anyone with some hot underground music get them to hit me up on myspace ! I can dance, but I have to rat assed drunk ! Its a shame, caus before I djed I was always dancing like I had MC Hammer in me.

Ps – Why do girls love djs?

Girls love DJ’s cause we are the centre of attention in the club and are good with our hands : )

PPS – Are you gay?

No, sorry to break your fantasy.

Visit Him On Myspace GO

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

I came across a profile on Myspace that claimed to be Trish Stratus. So I messaged her asking her for an interview for the site. I am 95% sure this bitch is not the real Trish Stratus and that the person behind this profile is actually some 14 year old immigrant kid with no friends and a love of wrestling who lives somewhere in Canada and jerks off to her implants. Either way, This is what Trish Stratus’ myspace profile had to say. If it is really her, her spelling is as rough as her 6-pack abs and bitch should stick to doing sit-ups.

1- Were you into wrestling when you were a kid?

ABSOLUTLY, I REMEBER MY AND MY TO GUY CUZINS USED TO WATCH IT ALL THE TIME , THEY INTRIDUCED ME TO WRESTELING AT A YOUNG AGE SO I STARTED SEING THJEM EVERY MONDAY UNTILL I HAD THE CHANCE TO FINNALLY WRESTLE.

2- Who taught you how to wrestle? Was it your Stepfather?

NO IT’S NOT MY STEPFATHER??? WEN I ENTERED WWE FIT FINLEY TRAINED ME AND SOME MORE WWE DIVAS.

3- When did you realize you had sex appeal and who was the person to hammer that into your head? Was it your Stepfather?

IT WAS SOMEONE WHO REALLY LIKES TO FIRE PEOPLE! U NOW WHO OR AT LEAST THINK ABAUT IT!!

4- Were you ever a stripper, because I always thought of wrestling girls as the top of the Stripper Career Ladder.

LOL!!!!!!!! I DONT NOW ANY DIVA WHO USED TO BE A STRIPPER????

5- What are you working on now and what do you want me to make stepFAMOUS?

I’M WORKING ON MY SELF!!!!!!! LOL…

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

Today was a bad day, one where I was tired, unmotivated and questioned why I do what I do on this site. I make no money, everyone thinks I am lame and not very funny, girls aren’t knocking down my door to suck me off and Lohan isn’t my wife yet. I keep on trucking, 1.5 years later so I took time off to go to Starbucks and watch my favorite Bum do his dance. I sat on the patio with gay black men, Jewish Heiresses, Medical Students and some other guy who’s just always around and gave girls walking by different ratings on how hot they were. I REMEMBERED that I do this because it’s what I am supposed to do. Like a porn star is blessed with a big dick – I am blessed with whatever the fuck you call this motherfucker.

Speaking of big dick’s, here’s an interview I did with Donny Long, some porn star I never heard of. I sent him the questions a month ago, but he didn’t dig the questions, but I somehow won him over today when I wrote him this….

it took me time to write you that interview
the least you could do is answer the motherfucker
you are pretty fucking lazy for someone who wants to get more visibility.
my site is big
now make it fucking happen motherfucker.

with love
jesus martinez
drunkenstepfather.com

So a few hours later this is what I got from him….We are NOW big fans of Donny – so visit his site…and help make him famous…

Here we go:

How long are you and by you I mean your penis?
depends on the girl and how hard she makes me!!!!

Is your penis the reason you got into porn or was it nepotism?
both

I should ask about the girls you bang, otherwise my readers will think I am homo, speaking of homo, how many gay porns did you do to get into straight porn?
no gay porn never have, never will god made adam and eve not adam and steve

So does porn pussy stink or is that just the gutter slophole bitches who used to get drunk enough to let me go down on them?
no stink in porn girls they clean out before every scence

I saw you were in some squirting videos, is female ejaculation real or was the bitch just pissing all over the motherfucking place?
depends on the girl some girls piss some cum

My friend says it feels like someone is pinching the head of his dick, does that mean he has an STD?
maybe, i wouldnt know i never had one

Does being in porn help you land everyday pussy in clubs, you know like the hot college freshman bitches who you see on girls gone wild and if so do you rock a condom with them because I am pretty convinced they all have herpes.
i really dont have time to fuck outside of work i fuck twice a day everyday for work and as far as bitchs outside the biz i dont touch them because there not tested every month

Grover wants to know what hole is your favorite (mouth, ass, vagina)?
vagina of corse

When you do the gangbang scenes, do you find yourself lookin at the other guy’s cock?
dont do gang bangs

Do girls ever call you Donny Average when you’re done with them?
no nothing average there buddy

This is a link to his Gallery Page (NSFW)
This is a link to a Pic of him Not Having a Gang Bang… (that was sarcasm)(NSFW)
This is a link to His Bio (I didn’t read it…that’s the kind of research I do for this gig)

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

I did this interview a year a 3 months ago, before AM was engaged to Richie, before she left him for Steve-O, before they got back together, before I was confident enough in my site to really rip a motherfucker apart. For the record AM was always cool with me, and asked me to take it off the site when they first got engaged, so I did. I saved it in case I decided to cry for attention. This be me crying for attention.

Bam, Here is AM

INTERVIEW ORIGINALLY REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF LIONEL RICHIE

INTERVIEW REPOSTED BY JESUS TO SEE IF WE GET SUED

Stepfather: So what’s the deal with DJs, why does every girl want a piece of the DJ?

DJ AM: DJs rule… Every girl wants to bone us cause we are the center of attention… And that’s what every girl wants to be.

Stepfather: You used to be fat, I am fat, is life really that much better being thin? Do girls appreciate a fat man, or is your life that much better now that you aren’t fat?

DJ AM: I hated being fat. I miss knocking back a rack of ribs and bakers dozen of Krispie Kremes for a snack but I like being thin for once…

Stepfather: Rumor is that when you lose a lot of weight, your penis gets bigger, is that true?

DJ AM: Yes, my penis has gotten bigger.

Stepfather: I am a fat man and I am scared to sleep with fat women for 2 main reasons, first because fat is disgusting and second because fat gets in the way of sex and I am scared I won’t be able to penetrate fully, how do you feel about sex with fat chicks?

DJ AM: I have a friend who is skinny and he only fucks fat girls. I think he likes the padding and feeling like hes doing some kinky shit. Thing is, your right. If the chick is THAT fat you can’t dig it all the way in cause there are rolls blocking you.

Stepfather: When it comes to sex, what’s the craziest thing you have done, what do you brad to your boys about?

DJ AM: I used to slap the shit out of this one girl who LOVED to be smacked in the face. I’m not much of a bragger anymore though. I grew old and just like it normal.

Stepfather: How much drugs funnel through the clubs you play at, because I once hung out with a stripper, we were sitting next to each other on the bus and she was telling me that clubs have so many drugs…I once did an 8-ball of crystal in a trailer park in Dallas, that’s actually where my blog started. How do you feel about drugs and what is your drug of choice.

DJ AM: Drugs RULE! I used to be a crack head for about 2 years. Nothing is more fun then being so wasted you throw up on yourself at 9:45am on your way to downtown LA to buy crack rocks from the mouth of a 12 year old Mexican kid. Drugs are all over the clubs I DJ. I just like sitting back and watching people learn the hard way.

Stepfather: Would you sleep with your stepdaughter/stepsister if she was really hot? If you said no, would you rethink it if you only met her when she was legal or if she was only in your life for a couple of years?

DJ AM: I would not bone my step ANYTHING. That’s just too damn funky and close to home… Well, if she was Adriana Lima then yes.. but only in the ass.

Stepfather: Do you feel that your music is being overshadowed by your celebrity acquaintances, friends, and lovers?

DJ AM: No.

Stepfather: How do you feel about providing us with some random gossip that no one will read, but you feel you need to get off your chest and what’s the deal with celebrity obsession, I like to pretend I care about celebrity, but I only do it for traffic to the site.

DJ AM: Hmmmmmm… gotta think about that…

Stepfather: I am an alcoholic, and I like to drink everything, including rubbing alcohol and tang, what is your drink of choice?

DJ AM: I am a sober recovering alkie… I aint had a drink in 7 years.

Stepfather: What are the chances that you would put me on permanent guestlist to all your events?

DJ AM: Slim to none cause there is no permanent guest list. But, if you give me a reach around in the booth I may get you in to 1 club.

Stepfather: Could you hook me up with naked pics of celebrities, it seems to really drive a lot of traffic to my site and I would really appreciate it, no one would know it is from you….I am thinking a DJ AM sex tape or something, is that likely?

DJ AM: Not a good look for you, got no pics 🙁

Stepfather: Who are your musical influences? What kind of music do you dig? What type of music do you play? What gets your dancefloor bumping?

DJ AM: I am strongly influnced by the music of David Hasselhoff. What a voice on that stunning man.

Stepfather: Are you going to pimp the expression “that’s porno� in LA, I think you have the visibility to make this the next big expression, you down?

DJ AM: It could be… but my girl is not feeling that word. I gotta break it in slowly.

Stepfather: I once saw a picture of you in high-end streetwear, have you always supported streetwear? How do you feel about the popularity of the homeless look, I remember when it was limited to people like me, who actually used food stamps while the hottest thing was Brandon Walsh from 90210…when it comes to art, do you have any?

DJ AM: Bryten Goss is an amazing painter. I have a crazy ass painting of his called Triumph Of Death. Its a street scene in LA where the dead wake up and tear thru the city killing everyone in sight. Its sexy.

Check out AM’s official site and drop him an email…HERE

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW