I just applied for a job at Gawker, cuz I figure they are the only site that matters in 2012….even though I never go to ti….but I have a feeling I won’t get it…
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Dear Gawker,
My name is Jesus Martinez and I would like to work for your company.
I don’t have a resume because I do not feel my talents can be properly communicated in words, but I was a guest blogger at Fleshbot for a week back when Gawker owned Fleshbot, which is probably before your time working at Gawker, dear reader.
The only link to any work I have done can be found at http://www.drunkenstepfather.com
There are 10,000 articles written by me, amongst all the garbage, there must be one good enough to work for your company at the entry level.
I have also written for other sites…from Fashion to Music to Viral Videos…but none of that matters…as nothing really matters.
I can do your job better than you can, and that’s why I deserve it.
Now let’s fucking circle jerk, I find it helps build company morale….
With Love,
I should apply for jobs all the time….
Here are some links…
The Eagle Snatching the Kid VIDEO is FAKE
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When I Die, I Wanna Come Back As a Fox – VIDEO
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Heather Knox is More Than Most of Us Could Handle (NSFW)
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What A Sexy And Festive Funeral Home Commercial! – VIDEO
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Olivia Paige is a Small Town Girl Who Likes to Get Dirty
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And Now, The Ultimate Urban Playground
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James Franco Says Lindsay Lohan Keeps Failing At Life Because She Gets Book Deals. Wait, What?
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Sophia Vergara is Always Easy on the Eyes
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We Tumblforya: Self Shot Fails
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Free Cam Shows Brings the Sexy and You Love It (NSFW)
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Gotta Love a Super Sexy Amateur in the Morning (NSFW)
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6th-Grader Pulls Gun on Classmates at Utah School; Did His Parents Give it to Him?
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Jenna Has Some Big Old Tits, Check It Out (NSFW)
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All I Want for Christmas is a BACON YULE LOG! – VIDEO
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The Eagle Snatching the Kid is FAKE
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