Carmen Electra, a B-List, Playboy chick turned MTV Host, who was actually a fucking babe, despite her stupid fake tits and cheesiness, is still going strong, if you consider going strong, hanging on as fucking hard as she can to her looks because they are all she ever had…either showing up to events or more importantly getting booked for the occasional cameo, something far more impressive than when she was getting paid 2,000 dollars to show up at your local night club to party well into her 40s….

This is what happens when a woman chooses herself instead of having babies…here’s my shitty top 5 – because I am mocking top 10 lists on the internet. Clickbait….works for everyone but me.

1- Despite being plastic – she was able to rotate enough to show her ass from a strategic vantage point…

2- Despite being plastic, she was able to lift one leg and do the Flamigo pose

3- Despite being Plastic she was able to crack some kind of smile…

4- Despite being plastic, she was able to brush her fake hair out of her fake face…it looked so natural…she’s a real talent

5- OMG Two Hands…Double Fisting…Her Favorite

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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It’s July 4th. Fourth of July like Tom Cruise, Independence Day like Will Smith…so to fit in with the internet I Googled “Girls in American Flags”…and these are the top 37-ish I found, and by top, I mean first…because it would require work to actually find this shit, and work isn’t something I do…if I did, I would have a job.

Happy Just 4th. Fourth of July. Independence Day.

Go America. To #Freedom while being watched and supervised!

At least one of you will get pregnant, at least one of you will eat a hot dog, at least one of you will see real girls in bikinis, at least one of you will will see fire works, at least one of you will will drink too much, at least one of you will will die from fireworks after drinking too much, and the rest of you…here are some patriotic girls…

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Here’s some Kylie Minoge – Breast Cancer Survivor at some AIDS event that all kinds of models and people who are more important, richer, better looking that you attended. One of those multimillion dollar charity events that the multi million dollar would be better spent on the charity, but why not make it fun for these people who have everything….

This is my round-up…with IRINA SHAYK Lookin’ Like a Russian Bride…

Paz Vega TIts Because I Don’t Know WHo She Is…

Sharon Stone Hard Nipple

Paris Hilton Because She Manages to Make Everything Look Cheap as Fuck

ROSARIO DAWSON’S Window to her Relevance

Lara Stone Because she Tried to See Me

Heidi Klum Getting Molested

Marion Cottilard Feet…

To See the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

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As a part mexican named Jesus, I find Cinco de Mayo to be one of the more racist events of the year. I figure it’s on par with celebrating Jewish Day and walking around dressed like one of those Orthodox pilgrim people, or celebrating Chinese New Year, walking around pulling at your eyes to make them slanty…and shit…

So I turned to instagram and found very fucking little erotica – but a whole lot of sobrero’s because society says it’s ok to laugh at Mexicans in a fun taco eating way, but not at anyone else, especially not the gays or blacks…hypocrites…

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#AfterSex and #AfterSex are all the fucking rage right now, meaning that the media picked up on the shit and the world is now posting #AfterSex selfies, something that I assume is more popular in the gay and pornstar demographic but that since it is a #hashtag people are searching, people are jumping on board, but unfortunately, based on my extensive research, none of the #AfterSex selfie pics are even that good…if anything they are awkward as fuck and it’s hardly a trend, but should be…a trend that only hot girls participate in…

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EDM is a joke. I feel like it takes these DJ producers 10 minutes to make a song that these 30 year old chicks on MDMA eat up like they were 18 and half retarded, because the EDM scene seems to be just as much Quarter Life crisis of mainstream 9-5ers holding onto the dream, as it is 18 year olds learning how to party….its some Rave comeback from the 90s, that for someone who went to raves, seems really weird…But Bikinis and drugged out girls partying…aren’t all that bad…even if all these fucking drone peasant 9-5ers are all the same….

It was ULTRA this weekend, A huge Miami event for these people and here are the best pics I could find.

The Plur Candy Kid Handshake:

Here’s some chick in New York proving you don’t need to be at ULTRA in Miami to twerk

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So many nipples happened the last couple of days, and since the foundation of this site was built on nip slits, hard nipples, panty flashes and sex tapes, I would feel like I wasn’t being true to my roots unless I posted them…it’s like I can’t let all this fame and money and groupies get to my head and lose sight of what was…or some shit…without the fame and money and groupies…so here are the best nipples that happened the last few days on famous bitches I don’t care about, except maybe Rose McGowan, because she lectured me once and told me I should be nicer, and I found that sweet, considering I used to jerk off to her tits in Doom Generation because they are great…it was like life coming full circle or something…Either way, nipples.

Anne Hathaway in what looks like a conservative bathing suit a poor kid would be forced to wear, but that is really up on some slutty shit…

Jena Malone….in a who the fuck in Jena Malone…but she’s wearing a white shirt and you can see her nipple, despite the rest of her being a fucking mess…

Rose McGowan You read my notes from above…which is appropriate because I am convinced that she is my spirit animal sent from above…so these nipples are good…

Sharon Stone just never gives up, if you had even a little of her perseverance, maybe you wouldn’t be a pathetic fucking loser…right?

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I was surfing one of our partner’s sites called Slixa.com.

It is the Best Escort Directory On The Internet and it got me to thinking that escorts are better than the regular girls looking for long term relationships, or more importantly, the ones you’re wasting your time trying to get attention from…with nothing to show for it.

Here are the top 5 reasons why escorts are better than internet dating.

5- They Don’t Nag You / Annoy You / Ruin Your Life

Whenever you are in a committed relationship, or even dating, the tables quickly shift from “I hate being alone, I am going to get a girlfriend…to I need to be alone, I can’t handle this girl anymore, she is making her problems my problems, and my life an accessory or puppet in her life”…a life filled with plans you have no say in, gossip you don’t care about, activities you don’t want to participate in…you know from hot and passionate and fun to “you snore too loud, you forget to use a coaster, do I look fat”….what happened to the fun and sex? Oh right, it died after we first had sex…or after you broke my fucking heart…you get what I am saying here…emotions are better spent on dogs.

4- You Get to Choose Them

Whenever you are in a relationship, or even dating, it always ends up being a committed relationship after a while…where for whatever amount of time you’re with that person…you have to have the same sex with the same body with that person…she may try to switch it up and keep things fresh…but it never is.

Not to mention you end up with whatever girl you end up settling with. Not the pornstar you want to be with. In life girls choose us, with escorts, we choose them…

You choose the escort or escorts like a menu of the most mind blowing and unforgettable kind from the pornstar escorts /a> you already love, to Las Vegas Escorts, to pretty much anything you want…you choose depending on your mood.

3- No Pressure

When it comes to dating at any level, there is pressure. There is a song and dance that involves seduction, even if you’ve been together forever. You have to do the right things and say the right things. But with escorts, you don’t have to wear the right thing, smell the right cologne, send the right Valentines Day card message…you don’t have to have a great body, or even be handsome at all, you only have to be anything but your amazing self, and that Escort will embrace it.

2- No Need to Wine and Dine – It’s All About You…..

When you are dating or married, you have invested time and money into a person. Whether it’s 20 dollars for a coffee date, 50 dollars for a movie date and 100 dollars for a dinner date…you are throwing money in the fire or worst the unknown where there is no guarantee of fire….unless of course you like the companionship and would rather be at coffee, at a movie, or at dinner than sitting at home in your underwear being left alone…there’s always an investment with no Guarantee of getting the attention that you want to get, even after you get married and she gets half of everything…you don’t get what you want, on your terms…you cater to her…which sucks….

1- No Ulterior Motive

Girls who aren’t Escorts are the Actual Whores. They are out for themselves, always dating up, out for your money..grabbing you by the balls…before stomping on them and leaving you a shell of yourself…a broken man especially after finding out she banged all your friends…you get what I am saying here…and that is who knows why a girl is into you, or if she’s sincere in her efforts….

SO If you’re looking for love, romance, the Pornstar experience, a Girlfriend experience, a good time while on vacation…or on business while the wife is at home with the kids…with a girl who won’t judge, who will make all your dreams come true, leading to legendary memories….instead of hitting Match.com or OKCupid to be disappointed with garbage…VISIT The Best Escort Directory Ever…It’s the Facebook for escorts….

Here are some pics of some of their amazing girls:

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What better way to celebrate mother’s day than to post a few of the Disney Star bitches in pics with their moms that they posted on Twitter or Instagram, thanking them for exploiting them, because now their lives are in the limelight, flying private jets, filled with money and fancy things, while all the ghetto kids they grew up with are working at the Dairy Queen this summer.

We all love famewhores and their willingness to throw their kids into the shit they always wanted for themselves but never had.

Stage moms unite…happy mother’s day….you’ve done good….

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